Complete the sentence:

1679111214

Comments

  • fat daddy
    fat daddy Posts: 2,605
    .... I have eaten an entire box of roses trying to workout which one is the Brazilian Darkness

    How many hours on the bike do I need to pedal to burn off ....
  • Tashman
    Tashman Posts: 3,398
    ...The whole tub of Quality Street I've eaten in order to compare them

    Will my bike still...
  • lincolndave
    lincolndave Posts: 9,441
    Be there when the new year starts

    Who's the girl with smelly feet.....
  • slowmart
    slowmart Posts: 4,474
    but they smell like fresh mountain air after going down on her.



    I love Christmas as I get to...
    “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”

    Desmond Tutu
  • Tashman
    Tashman Posts: 3,398
    ...spend time away from all those i loathe!

    I really should be kinder to my colleagues because...
  • slowmart
    slowmart Posts: 4,474
    No one will notice when I drop some polonium into the pot.




    Christmas is cancelled this year because....
    “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”

    Desmond Tutu
  • lincolndave
    lincolndave Posts: 9,441
    Alcohol will be in good supply

    Why should the world take notice..
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,195
    ..of a mere minion with Polonium poisoning.

    Cracks in dunking biscuits...
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Tashman
    Tashman Posts: 3,398
    ... will annoy fissure!

    Puns should be outlawed because...
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,195
    ...they imply stuff wot goes over me 'ed.

    Do you think Santa's helpers...
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Garry H
    Garry H Posts: 6,639
    ...Will also go on strike

    When I was a young man...
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,195
    ...it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical and all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily, Joyfully, playfully watching me.

    When all the world's asleep...
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Tashman
    Tashman Posts: 3,398
    ...the little pixies come out and fark everything up

    This meeting is going to be...
  • secretsam
    secretsam Posts: 5,098
    ...chaired by wee Jimmy Krankee

    I wish I'd listened to what my mother said...

    It's just a hill. Get over it.
  • fat daddy
    fat daddy Posts: 2,605
    .... that is if she actually said anything, I wasn't listening.

    If a mother is giving advice and no one is there to listen .......
  • mrfpb
    mrfpb Posts: 4,569
    ... she's still not going to stop.


    Winter solstice is the perfect time to...
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,195
    ...cough up green stuff that you could trip on.

    Should I use Veet on my...
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Garry H
    Garry H Posts: 6,639
    ...camel

    If I should fall from grace with...
  • I hope I have a parachute on.

    I was walking in the jungle......
    Tail end Charlie

    The above post may contain traces of sarcasm or/and bullsh*t.
  • crumbschief
    crumbschief Posts: 3,399
    when i tripped and fell on my asp.

    It's the shortest day so i shall
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,195
    ...dance around the cauldron, occasionally stirring and add a nip of GIn.

    The problem with hairless Camels is...
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Garry H
    Garry H Posts: 6,639
    ...nothing to hold on to.

    Dyson aren't very good at sucking up...
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,195
    ...the wrath of my missus.

    Personally, knitting cardigans for bald Camels...
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • crumbschief
    crumbschief Posts: 3,399
    is giving me the hump

    Twas the knight
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,195
    ...of the gales that prevented the Ferries form crossing to Nardern Eyrelan land and the locals came out to play with the unfortunate souls, who were stuck in a small town in deepest, darkest Jockland, fearing for their possessions and their innocence.

    The day before...
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Garry H
    Garry H Posts: 6,639
    ...Your C40 got nicked

    But say a prayer...
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,195
    ..for the impoverished people of Peebles trying to emigrate to the land of malk, hunny and turning your bike around.

    For a moment...
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Garry H
    Garry H Posts: 6,639
    ...I thought it was all just a bad dream

    But the most important rule, the rule you can never forget, no matter how much he cries, no matter how much he begs...
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,195
    ..., is put him on a kebab skewer and barbecue him without marinading him first.
    [We are talking about your pet Hamster aren't we?]

    The problem with treating pneumonia in Camels is...
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • secretsam
    secretsam Posts: 5,098
    ...they still get the hump

    If I had my way, Christmas would be...

    It's just a hill. Get over it.