Lifestyles of the semi-detached cardboard box dwellers

pinno
pinno Posts: 51,196
edited April 2014 in The bottom bracket
Which is one up from those terraced cardboard box dwelling riff raff that we don't associate with.

This weeks installment of the Semi-Detached Cardboard Box Dwelling Community Association newsletter (SDCBDCA), contains some useful information in how to waterproof your cardboard box.

1. Cover it in polythene bags.
2. Drip candle wax on it (if you want scented wax, burgle some rich bloke on the take and avoiding taxes).

Any suggestions for making one's SDCB more comfortable are welcome such as ideas on how to drown out the racket from motorway flyovers and the best way to cook rats and road kills would be appreciated.
seanoconn - gruagach craic!
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Comments

  • finchy
    finchy Posts: 6,686
    the best way to cook road kills would be appreciated.

    Watch out when eating hitch hikers, they often carry nasty diseases, so be sure to cook them for a long time.
  • nathancom
    nathancom Posts: 1,567
    Make sure you padlock your box so Mickey and the boys don't turn up to have an orgy in it.
  • Mikey23
    Mikey23 Posts: 5,306
    Oi!
  • team47b
    team47b Posts: 6,424
    Nothing common about detached cardboard boxes...

    image-2.jpg

    image-3.jpg
    my isetta is a 300cc bike
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 58,164
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • city_boy
    city_boy Posts: 1,616
    Bubble wrap cladding is an excellent, cost effective upgrade:
    1. Good thermal and acoustic insulation
    2. Adds significant value to your property
    3. Looks a bit 'space-age'
    4. Popping the bubbles is a great antidote to the stresses of modern day living
    Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,196
    Stevo 666 wrote:

    'Ere, leave him alone. He chinned a shandy drinking cockney man woman man to get me my pad underneath the flyover.

    Cheers City Boy. Do you live under the M25/M4 flyover complex or spaghetti junction?
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • city_boy
    city_boy Posts: 1,616
    Neither I'm afraid Piña, I have a compact little archway under the Mancunian way, proper Manc me.....sorted!
    Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,196
    City Boy wrote:
    Neither I'm afraid Piña, I have a compact little archway under the Mancunian way, proper Manc me.....sorted!

    An Archway?! A whole Archway made out of brick? You must be loaded. I bet you got a shopping trolley parked outside too.
    I wish I lived in an archway...
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 58,164
    City Boy wrote:
    Neither I'm afraid Piña, I have a compact little archway under the Mancunian way, proper Manc me.....sorted!

    An Archway?! A whole Archway made out of brick? You must be loaded. I bet you got a shopping trolley parked outside too.
    I wish I lived in an archway...
    Cardboard box? You were lucky!
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • city_boy
    city_boy Posts: 1,616
    City Boy wrote:
    Neither I'm afraid Piña, I have a compact little archway under the Mancunian way, proper Manc me.....sorted!

    An Archway?! A whole Archway made out of brick? You must be loaded. I bet you got a shopping trolley parked outside too.
    I wish I lived in an archway...

    I make no apologies for having aspirations and taking advantage of all life's opportunities. When I was a kid I followed an old meether to his abode under the M62 and I decided there and then that I was not going to end up under a motorway. It was a pivotal moment in my life and since then I have begged, stole (not so much borrowing, to be fair) my way to a classy inner city flyover. I have a McD's and KFC within shuffling distance and I get all my carbs and proteins from the well stocked bins. And, I've got more than one trolley, they're a bit of a passion for me to be honest and I've got a Tesco one, an Asda one and a Lidl one for dropping the kids off at the food bank. In fact I'm in the process of building a detached cardboard box structure to store my trolleys in, out of sight of 'the others'......they are just jealous feckers and hate it when someone makes something out of their lives.

    I'm not telling you all this to show off! I'm just trying to help you by being your inspiration. Seize the day and live your dreams....one day you may get that viaduct archway and Sainsbury's trolley you long for....you just need to put a bit of effort in....good luck.
    Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,196
    City Boy wrote:
    City Boy wrote:
    Neither I'm afraid Piña, I have a compact little archway under the Mancunian way, proper Manc me.....sorted!

    An Archway?! A whole Archway made out of brick? You must be loaded. I bet you got a shopping trolley parked outside too.
    I wish I lived in an archway...

    I make no apologies for having aspirations and taking advantage of all life's opportunities. When I was a kid I followed an old meether to his abode under the M62 and I decided there and then that I was not going to end up under a motorway. It was a pivotal moment in my life and since then I have begged, stole (not so much borrowing, to be fair) my way to a classy inner city flyover. I have a McD's and KFC within shuffling distance and I get all my carbs and proteins from the well stocked bins. And, I've got more than one trolley, they're a bit of a passion for me to be honest and I've got a Tesco one, an Asda one and a Lidl one for dropping the kids off at the food bank. In fact I'm in the process of building a detached cardboard box structure to store my trolleys in, out of sight of 'the others'......they are just jealous feckers and hate it when someone makes something out of their lives.

    I'm not telling you all this to show off! I'm just trying to help you by being your inspiration. Seize the day and live your dreams....one day you may get that viaduct archway and Sainsbury's trolley you long for....you just need to put a bit of effort in....good luck.

    Good for you. :P Typical of the super rich multi shopping trolley bourgeois - always name dropping fancy stores like Lidl and ASDA. I think that the only reason you go on internet forums is to tell everybody how bleedin' rich you are.

    It's all very well to say that was a turning point for you but not all of us get the chance (or even want to) aspire to a brick archway with a cardboard shed full of shopping trolleys. You have no conception of the life I lead with my cardboard box adjoined to a two bit tramps' residence (he has such bad flatulence, every time he lights a dried out fag butt from the town centre urinals), there's an explosion.
    You try sleeping in between the bangs and then having to get the roof stuck back on before the oily drips wreck your back dated copies of the Big Issue.
    I dunno, some people want to just rub your nose in it.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • city_boy
    city_boy Posts: 1,616
    Good for you. :P Typical of the super rich multi shopping trolley bourgeois - always name dropping fancy stores like Lidl and ASDA. I think that the only reason you go on internet forums is to tell everybody how bleedin' rich you are.

    It's all very well to say that was a turning point for you but not all of us get the chance (or even want to) aspire to a brick archway with a cardboard shed full of shopping trolleys. You have no conception of the life I lead with my cardboard box adjoined to a two bit tramps' residence (he has such bad flatulence, every time he lights a dried out fag butt from the town centre urinals), there's an explosion.
    You try sleeping in between the bangs and then having to get the roof stuck back on before the oily drips wreck your back dated copies of the Big Issue.
    I dunno, some people want to just rub your nose in it.

    That's what I don't get about people like you, who just settle for the mundane and are prepared to live with tramp fart induced pyrotechnics. Surely everyone wants the kind of life I have and all it takes is ambition!
    I get to see a lot of the Coronation Street cast walking past my residence on their way to work. Many of them I consider to be friends. That Ken Barlow bloke is a nice chap, I'd let him babysit my kids anytime. I remember once that Les Battersby woke me up one morning. He was drunk and was p1ssing on my veranda. Unfortunately me and the missus had had a bit of a disagreement the night before and I was asleep on the veranda! He looked down at me, covered in his p1ss and said "you need to find shomewhere elsh to live mate". I just lay there grateful for the warmth, happy in the knowledge that I was rich beyond compare with a few celebrity mates to tell people about :wink:
    Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
  • RideOnTime
    RideOnTime Posts: 4,712
    City Boy wrote:
    Bubble wrap cladding is an excellent, cost effective upgrade:
    1. Good thermal and acoustic insulation
    2. Adds significant value to your property
    3. Looks a bit 'space-age'
    4. Popping the bubbles is a great antidote to the stresses of modern day living

    :D
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 58,164
    Loads of b0ll0x about pretending to be poor
    Give up and post in the right thread.

    B00dy champagne socialists.
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,196
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    Loads of b0ll0x about pretending to be poor
    Give up and post in the right thread.

    B00dy champagne socialists.

    You see how the tax dodging super rich treat us. He's only saying that because he hasn't got a frikkin clue as to how the other half Live. I mean, I have to break into a different house every day just to find a computer to post on this forum (unless they are away on holiday).
    City Boy wrote:
    Good for you...I dunno, some people want to just rub your nose in it.

    That's what I don't get about people like you...tell people about :wink:

    Archway snobs; getting pi$$ed on by celebs. Soon you'll be telling me you have a Pedalo for the canal and you go holidaying in Moss side. I bet you chipped the Pedalo too.
    Must go, the kids are being dropped off by the chimney sweep. I don't like it when he gaffer tape's them to the rods.

    I'm looking for some bubble wrap, where can I get some?
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • city_boy
    city_boy Posts: 1,616
    Latest addition to the fleet.

    Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
  • nathancom
    nathancom Posts: 1,567
    City Boy wrote:
    Latest addition to the fleet.

    Did you tune that yourself or get the glue sniffer from the neighbouring arches to go at it?

    Looks like you could outrun the fuzz on it.
  • city_boy
    city_boy Posts: 1,616
    nathancom wrote:
    City Boy wrote:
    Latest addition to the fleet.

    Did you tune that yourself or get the glue sniffer from the neighbouring arches to go at it?

    Looks like you could outrun the fuzz on it.

    Picked it up from a "dealer" :wink: I know!

    And whilst it probably could outrun the local law enforcement, I would have no need as I am a law abiding, loving father and husband and thoroughly decent human being, I'll have you know :D
    Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,196
    City Boy wrote:
    nathancom wrote:
    City Boy wrote:
    Latest addition to the fleet.

    Did you tune that yourself or get the glue sniffer from the neighbouring arches to go at it?

    Looks like you could outrun the fuzz on it.

    Picked it up from a "dealer" :wink: I know!

    And whilst it probably could outrun the local law enforcement, I would have no need as I am a law abiding, loving father and husband and thoroughly decent human being, I'll have you know :D

    You cannot be a law abiding, loving father and husband and thoroughly decent human being if you live in a brick archway. There's no way that you can afford the trappings of souped up shopping trolleys, brick Archways and Cardboard extensions without being totally corrupt and there's no way you can be a loving father when you are always tied up either doing criminal acts or getting chased by the fuzz.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • city_boy
    city_boy Posts: 1,616
    Tut tut. It's always the same people who can't wait to cast aspersions regarding my character :cry:

    Haven't you figured it out yet? I can be completely contradictory in all my posts yet still always be right :roll:
    Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,196
    City Boy wrote:
    Tut tut. It's always the same people who can't wait to cast aspersions regarding my character :cry:

    Haven't you figured it out yet? I can be completely contradictory in all my posts yet still always be right :roll:

    Well, before now i've never met anyone on this forum who does that. Or have I...
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • nathancom
    nathancom Posts: 1,567
    City Boy wrote:
    Tut tut. It's always the same people who can't wait to cast aspersions regarding my character :cry:

    Haven't you figured it out yet? I can be completely contradictory in all my posts yet still always be right :roll:

    Well, before now i've never met anyone on this forum who does that. Or have I...
    Shut it or you will join the 4 loons of the Pocapolypse.
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,196
    nathancom wrote:
    City Boy wrote:
    Tut tut. It's always the same people who can't wait to cast aspersions regarding my character :cry:

    Haven't you figured it out yet? I can be completely contradictory in all my posts yet still always be right :roll:

    Well, before now i've never met anyone on this forum who does that. Or have I...
    Shut it or you will join the 4 loons of the Pocapolypse.

    Are you on the list? I'm envious.

    1. MattC59
    2. nathancom
    3...
    4...
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • nathancom
    nathancom Posts: 1,567
    nathancom wrote:
    City Boy wrote:
    Tut tut. It's always the same people who can't wait to cast aspersions regarding my character :cry:

    Haven't you figured it out yet? I can be completely contradictory in all my posts yet still always be right :roll:

    Well, before now i've never met anyone on this forum who does that. Or have I...
    Shut it or you will join the 4 loons of the Pocapolypse.

    Are you on the list? I'm envious.

    1. MattC59
    2. nathancom
    3. sloppy
    4. no idea
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,196
    1. MattC59
    2. nathancom
    3. Monkeypump
    4. 4kicks
    5. Team47b
    6. Ballysmate
    7. Veronese69
    8. SloppySchleckonds
    9. Lagrange
    10. Frank the Tank
    11. Daviesee...

    11 loons of the Pocapolypse. He can't count but I suppose he will have financial assistance to do all of that mundane stuff.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • nathancom
    nathancom Posts: 1,567
    Ok, ok 11 but they are all definitely loons. I think he hires Rayne Wooney to do his 'rithmetic. He must be smart to get paid 300k a week and to shag grannies. Though if the tax rate was lower think how many more grannies he could "employ" and all the wealth he would generate. It is people like him who are leaders.
  • My work here is done, I've made a list.

    All my A S P I R A T I O N S are complete
    I'm sorry you don't believe in miracles
  • team47b
    team47b Posts: 6,424
    1. MattC59
    2. nathancom
    3. Monkeypump
    4. 4kicks
    5. Team47b
    6. Ballysmate
    7. Veronese69
    8. SloppySchleckonds
    9. Lagrange
    10. Frank the Tank
    11. Daviesee...

    11 loons of the Pocapolypse. He can't count but I suppose he will have financial assistance to do all of that mundane stuff.

    Bit miffed I only made it to number 5, I will try to more obvious in my comments.

    I WANT TO BE IN THE TOP FOUR! :D
    my isetta is a 300cc bike
  • arran77
    arran77 Posts: 9,260
    Is Veronese69 related to Veronese68?
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn