Need Some lube?

I bought this product thinking it would be the perfect way to disentangle my 5,000-odd porcupines after a peanut butter tanker flipped over in the yard during the nightly feeding frenzy.

Instead of separating them, it just made them amorous. Now I have 2500 pregnant female porcupines, 2500 henpecked males desperate to escape, and 6000 lbs of peanut-scented-porcu-poo. Our farm, which formerly smelled lightly of lemons and sunshine, now reeks of coitus and used Jiff. The hog slaughter down the road is complaining. I'm considering a lawsuit.