Showered with poo
sturmey
Posts: 964
It was noticeable this morning while on my usual ride that there is a large amount of greasy poo deposited on our roads, usually by farmers (not their own poo I admit) which makes our country lanes when wet an unpleasant and sometimes hazardous place for us cyclists.
Looking down at my water bottle mid-ride I was alarmed to see my bottle of energy drink had been pebble-dashed in a shade of brown. Now obviously my jersey sleeve was employed to render the bottle more palatable to the lips but I wonder whether anybody has ever fallen ill and can attribute this directly to the flicking of this unspeakable brown stuff into one's digestive system.
While riding through this wretched stuff I couldn't help thinking long and hard about an item in the local news a week or so ago:
they reckoned farmers in this part of Cheshire had been liberally depositing human waste onto their fields instead of the usual bovine variety, believed incidentally to have resulted in a huge explosion in the population of flies
Now that was not a pleasant thought...
Looking down at my water bottle mid-ride I was alarmed to see my bottle of energy drink had been pebble-dashed in a shade of brown. Now obviously my jersey sleeve was employed to render the bottle more palatable to the lips but I wonder whether anybody has ever fallen ill and can attribute this directly to the flicking of this unspeakable brown stuff into one's digestive system.
While riding through this wretched stuff I couldn't help thinking long and hard about an item in the local news a week or so ago:
they reckoned farmers in this part of Cheshire had been liberally depositing human waste onto their fields instead of the usual bovine variety, believed incidentally to have resulted in a huge explosion in the population of flies
Now that was not a pleasant thought...
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Comments
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There was an indicent last year I think where a large number of mountain bikers contracted Campylobacter from sheep crap during one of the Merida rides.0
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You lucky boy, think of the carbohydrate content.0
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mudguards would help - they are a 'must' in winter around here for that very reason...0
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Are you Christopher Robin?"There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, t'would be a pity to damage yours."0
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Completely O/T but last weekend I found the worst maintenance task EVER.
I'd obviously put my foot down in a pile of great dane poo whilst out on my ride. Cleaning it out of cleats and pedals was a truly soul destroying task. I even thought about burning them and buying some new ones!0 -
If there is one thing in the entire universe which serves no purpose whatsoever to the human race it is doggy doo.
I cannot see the need for it at all.
same applies to wasps as well.0 -
Never mind the crap left behind by the farmers all over the road, wot about the hedge trimmings they leave when cutting them.
Thorns all over the road yesterday and two punctures after only 2 miles :x
Are they not supposed to clean up after themselves. :?:'Collapse the Light into Earth'0 -
Are they not supposed to clean up after themselves.
Yes and I believe it is against the law to deposit anything on a road that could cause a danger to roadusers. That includes sh*t.
Guess not many farmers are cyclists.0 -
Hi guys and girls yes the poo season has arived here on Wirral ,great dollops small patches and long smears of the stuff deep joy0
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Human faeces is routinely used on the land wthin the UK, it can only be used on 'product' that will be for animal consumption and not human consumption.
There are set limits and set times of the year it gets used due to nitrate levels within the ground (they build up over time within the soil from using pesticides etc) and other factors that farmers have to contend with. Also to do with crop rotation so no cross contamination goes on.
The farmers can buy it from the water treatment sewage authorities, they dry it out and its called 'cake'. (which makes me chuckle as this section of the forum is called the cake stop - hahaha)
Its all legit.
Thats as much as I know.'since the flaming telly's been taken away, we don't even know if the Queen of Englands gone off with the dustman'.
Lizzie Birdsworth, Episode 64, Prisoner Cell Block H.0 -
So the water authorities make a profit selling slabs of dried poo to farmers?
I could make a fortune doing that. I could work from home!0 -
Go to Paul's. Everyone poo's at Pauls'. ( Watch the advert!)0
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sturmey wrote:It was noticeable this morning while on my usual ride that there is a large amount of greasy poo deposited on our roads, usually by farmers (not their own poo I admit) which makes our country lanes when wet an unpleasant and sometimes hazardous place for us cyclists.
Looking down at my water bottle mid-ride I was alarmed to see my bottle of energy drink had been pebble-dashed in a shade of brown. Now obviously my jersey sleeve was employed to render the bottle more palatable to the lips but I wonder whether anybody has ever fallen ill and can attribute this directly to the flicking of this unspeakable brown stuff into one's digestive system.
While riding through this wretched stuff I couldn't help thinking long and hard about an item in the local news a week or so ago:
they reckoned farmers in this part of Cheshire had been liberally depositing human waste onto their fields instead of the usual bovine variety, believed incidentally to have resulted in a huge explosion in the population of flies in Altrincham and South manchester.
Now that was not a pleasant thought...
Christopher - :idea: can't you put your bottle in your pocket when the sh1tty bit starts?"There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, t'would be a pity to damage yours."0 -
Townies
bagpuss0 -
The only time I've come across a similar situation, I was on my MTB. Couldn't face drinking fluid from my bottles, with animal sh1te all over the mouth pieces. Soon moved up to CamelBak's.
Maybe you should consider using the 'roadie' camelBak for your winter/ sh1tty rides...Start with a budget, finish with a mortgage!0 -
Are you Christopher Robin?
Who he?0 -
Nothing wrong with a bit of the old 'Belgium Toothpaste"!0
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Computer games have a lot to answer for!!!
I dare say,however I am 44 yrs old and not remotely interested in that kind of thing.
Notwithstanding, I am afraid your esoteric brand of humour is rather too cryptic to be comprehensible.0 -
Toughen up guys.
My old man was stood next to a slurry pipe pumping pig cr@p onto the fields when one of the pipes burst.
It went everywhere and he was covered from head to toe and probably inside too lol.
Most will do you no harm and certainly no more harm than your tooth brush will do to you.
Do you know how much cr@p your tooth brush has on it from all the poo particles floating around in your bathroom?0 -
sturmey wrote:Computer games have a lot to answer for!!!
I dare say,however I am 44 yrs old and not remotely interested in that kind of thing.
Notwithstanding, I am afraid your esoteric brand of humour is rather too cryptic to be comprehensible.
It's your post title. A play on words, suggesting you had a shower with Winnie the Pooh, the young boy with him in the picture being Christopher Robin. Hence the reply.
I thought it was funny anyway.Det. Sgt. George Carter: Do you know what, Jack? You're full of sh!t.
Det. Insp. Jack Regan: I thought it was about time you made an intellectual contribution to this debate.
Det. Sgt. George Carter: Boll@cks.0 -
Now i get it, nice one 8) winter beast: http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff016.jpg
Summer beast; http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff015.jpg0 -
It's your post title. A play on words, suggesting you had a shower with Winnie the Pooh, the young boy with him in the picture being Christopher Robin. Hence the reply
Oh I see. And did they take showers together on a regular basis?0 -
sturmey wrote:It's your post title. A play on words, suggesting you had a shower with Winnie the Pooh, the young boy with him in the picture being Christopher Robin. Hence the reply
Oh I see. And did they take showers together on a regular basis?
Yes they did. :roll: Jokes aren't always necesarily based on fact winter beast: http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff016.jpg
Summer beast; http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff015.jpg0 -
sturmey wrote:It's your post title. A play on words, suggesting you had a shower with Winnie the Pooh, the young boy with him in the picture being Christopher Robin. Hence the reply
Oh I see. And did they take showers together on a regular basis?
Do the CPS and the RSPCA know it must be against the law :roll:
Strike it from childrens books. :shock: Call the fuss.bagpuss0
