Chat up lines
Roscobob
Posts: 344
Following on from the Susan Boyle thread and the numerous ways of describing her lady garden, I thought I'd carry on the laddish tone by giving everyone a chance to share their chat up lines. I'll kick it off.
The names Bond. Unibond. Come here and I'll fill your crack in
The names Bond. Unibond. Come here and I'll fill your crack in
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I tend to just have a few bevvies and jabber rubbish, rarely works, just met a girl last week though
Summer beast; http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff015.jpg
Want to go halfers on a censored
or
do you want to act like a turkey give us a gobble
granted both these tend to lead to a slap
Didn't Viz once give away a book of Sid teh Sexist chat-up lines? Stuff like "Want to play carnival? You sit on my face and i'll guess your weight".
@gietvangent
... fancy a shag :?:
Summer beast; http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff015.jpg
You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
I've had quite a bit to drink ... and you're beginning to look pretty good.
If you want a carrot, its yours. If you want 24 carrots, keep on walking lady!
Cor! You don't sweat much for a fat bird!
Him - You're gorgeous. I'd really love to invite you out sometime. Her - No, thanks. Him - Awww, come on! Lower your standards a little bit; I did...
We're playing pull a pig; would you fancy being my catch for the night?
Gee your ugly, but I bet you feel good in the dark.
Nice legs... What time do they open?
Courtesy of;
http://www.bestchatuplines.com/
Summer beast; http://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr34 ... uff015.jpg
Does heaven know theres an angel missing ?
You have lovely eyes.
My friends reckon you are too good looking to ever talk to me.
I'd like to kiss you but I'm too shy.
I have used all of the above in anger and they have ALL worked. I know they are pukey but hey-ho you gotta do what a mans gotta do.
You must be a spanner because everytime I look at you my nuts tighten!
Do you like fruit? Suck my willy it's a peach!
I've used the Bond one, the Halvers on a censored one and the fruit one.
None of them worked!
"It's ten to two, you'll do"
She looks very nice. Each to their own.
Not a chat up line; but when asked to describe how fat a particular lady is : "She's the type of girl you could date for six months and still find somewhere new to put your hands"
Dad, do you know how to get a fat bird in bed?
Me: no, how do you get a fat bird in bed.
Son: Piece ah cake.
http://www.dalynchi.com