rear shifting is sending me mad

Long time no see 
I have a (boggo basement spec
) Norco Charger 9.2 from 2013 and the indexing on the rear is getting mega irritating. Its a 3x9 setup, an XT front mech and Alvin and the chipmunks rear mech
I have changed the chain before the park tester said to, I have changed the cables and kept the same lengths of outers.
I have set the high and low stops properly and setup the cable as per the myriad of youtube vids....
When indexing up and down the full tance 9/10 times its fine. But changing between 3/4 5/6 7/8 etc it doesn't always go and needs an extra push on the shifter or to drop an extra gear and go back up.
In the higher gears (smaller rear cogs.... just checking) it sometimes jumps when under load which is hateful.
The behaviours are the same in all three front rings, yes I know about the cross chaining lark, which makes me think its not work rings.
Is this going to be the cassette or the hanger or the mech or the shifter, or a combo of the above?
If its anything other than the hanger I will work out a way to man maths in a 1x10 conversion

I have a (boggo basement spec

I have changed the chain before the park tester said to, I have changed the cables and kept the same lengths of outers.
I have set the high and low stops properly and setup the cable as per the myriad of youtube vids....
When indexing up and down the full tance 9/10 times its fine. But changing between 3/4 5/6 7/8 etc it doesn't always go and needs an extra push on the shifter or to drop an extra gear and go back up.
In the higher gears (smaller rear cogs.... just checking) it sometimes jumps when under load which is hateful.
The behaviours are the same in all three front rings, yes I know about the cross chaining lark, which makes me think its not work rings.
Is this going to be the cassette or the hanger or the mech or the shifter, or a combo of the above?
If its anything other than the hanger I will work out a way to man maths in a 1x10 conversion

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There is no secret ingredient - Kung Fu Panda
London Calling on Facebook
Parktools
There is no secret ingredient - Kung Fu Panda
London Calling on Facebook
Parktools
I'll grab a new hanger and then if its still bad, look at a 1x10 then
I cant see anything wrong with the mech or the hanger as everything is straight at the extremes etc, but underload I guess if could be bending around.
if you still have issues post up clear pics of the rear mech from the rear in a middle cog. looking down the bike back to front.
Parktools :?:SheldonBrown
I've a feeling the pikey spec mech and shifters are getting tired after a measly 600miles... yes in 2 years... yes I'm rubbish.
Mech: Shimano Alivio RD-M430 9spd
cassette: Shimano CS-HG20 11/34 9spd
I found that mech to be just terrible and could never get it to work properly on the two bikes i fitted it to. Actually went back to the 8/9 speed earlier version of the mech (after trying the new DEORE.. also not great). Like you i went through the whole replacing every thing else except the mech. Even now, those newer Alivio and Deore mechs don't work well on whichever bike i try them out on (reluctant to throw them away since they are reasonably new).
so Deore isn't much cop either? I thought that was supposed to be the bare minimum.....
Depends which Deore, just like the Alivio's. They keep changing the designs every couple of years. The old Alivio M410 works great (gone through about 4 on various 8 and 9 speed bikes) the only problem being with the largest size cassette it will take (about 32 if you extend the b-screw all the way in). The older 8/9 speed Deore was pretty rock solid too, but the newer M591 suffers from exactly the same flaky shifting as the newly redesigned Alivio.
I can, and have, literally taken my old M410 off my bike and put back the newer Deore and Alivio on it and instantly get problems with shifting in some gears no matter how much fiddling with the indexing you do. Slap any of my other used derailleurs (i have a box of about 15) on there and the problem instantly dissappears which suggests the problem is with the mechs and not the cabling. I also use Avid rollermajigs on some of my bikes to turn my cheaper mechs into straight pull designs (wish they still made these) that eliminate cable binding but still get inconsistent shifting on the redesigned Alivio (M430) and Deore (M591).
Seems that to get away from Deore without spending a fortune its SLX or Zee (well my poor man maths skills puts a new 9spd mech into a project to convert to 1x10
Ebay I assume? (urghhhh
There is no secret ingredient - Kung Fu Panda
London Calling on Facebook
Parktools
the top jockey wheel was all over the place as per the comment above... Could get about 2.5 gears from a single location
I've managed to get hold of all the kit (bar chain) for a 1x10 conversion with range extender so hopefully that'll be the end of random shifting, and the start of me being even worse up hills
Shimano chains are supposed to have the engraving on the outside. I never would have believed/thought that it mattered, but apparently it does
The issues were there before I added the new chain, but I didn't think much of it as the transmission was getting a little tired despite not doing much milage.
Now have an X9 mech + shifter, Raceface NW chainring and SRAM cassette with hope 40 expander. that's some man maths