The official rules of road cycling

littledove44
littledove44 Posts: 871
edited December 2013 in Road general
So you have to wear socks, you have to look cool, you have to have two bottle cages.....

Would anyone care to list the cardinal rules, in order of importance. I feel a need to print it out for my wall and send it to some local offenders.

Or is this good enough. http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/

Comments

  • ddraver
    ddraver Posts: 26,388
    Rule 1 - Stop talking and just ride the flipping thing

    All other Rules - see Rule 1
    We're in danger of confusing passion with incompetence
    - @ddraver
  • de_sisti
    de_sisti Posts: 1,283
    Agree, just ride your bike and stop thinking about others's opinions.

    Mods: Close this thread because it's going to serve no purpose apart from getting "newbies" and
    "stick in the muds" to perpertrate some old myths regarding what cyclists should do or wear.
  • Moonbiker
    Moonbiker Posts: 1,706
    I think its fun to brake "the rules" just to wind people up.
  • meursault
    meursault Posts: 1,433
    Or is this good enough. http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/

    This.
    Superstition sets the whole world in flames; philosophy quenches them.

    Voltaire
  • That rules is fucking stupid.
  • chris_bass
    chris_bass Posts: 4,913
    been a while since anyone posted these I guess
    www.conjunctivitis.com - a site for sore eyes
  • DiscoBoy
    DiscoBoy Posts: 905
    Is there anyone who doesn't love a good "discussion" about "the rules"?
    Red bikes are the fastest.
  • Yawn... Why people must perpetuate The Rules is beyond me. I generally find that bad jokes go away if people stop telling them. ;)

    But if you want to be a true hard man of cycling, get yourself an old bike, some massive gearing (your inner ring may be no lower than 39t, and your freewheel should be straight through; 21t is a granny gear) and some woollen kit. 'The Rules' basically appears to be a watered down version of 'old-school' cycling, but the idea of Tommy Godwin worrying about his bottle cages, pump placement and saddle/tape coordination is positively hilarious. :lol:
  • TakeTurns
    TakeTurns Posts: 1,075
    Someone should make a parody of 'The rules' already.

    Having said that...the rules are a parody in itself in a sense
  • neeb
    neeb Posts: 4,467
    Moonbiker wrote:
    I think its fun to brake "the rules" just to wind people up.
    It's also fun to expound the rules just to wind people up.. ;-)

    Seriously,the velominati rules are mostly tongue-in-cheek, but to the extent that some people want to stick to certain traditions in cycling (there are some I rather like myself) I think it is best to think of it in the same way as religion - respect people's right to their beliefs as long as they don't try to force them upon anyone else!
  • gethinceri
    gethinceri Posts: 1,517
    You must wear a helmet when cycling.
  • Yawn... blah.............blah.............blah........ bad jokes .............. blah.......... blah.............blah.............. positively hilarious. :lol:

    Nice oxymoron :D
    "You really think you can burn off sugar with exercise?" downhill paul
  • philwint
    philwint Posts: 763
    A friend of mine as 4 rules (for canoeing) but I have modified them slightly below

    1, One sip or two, It’s up to you.
    2. All rules must rhyme, All of the time.
    3. Cycling’s a good sport, If you’re well taught.
    4. A tea break must last ’Til the tea break has passed
  • Gethinceri wrote:
    You must wear a helmet when cycling.

    Mate, this forum goes down under where it is LAW to wear the biker's burqa. This is a very sore point with me. Ginger, bald, precancerous scalp and I get sunburned if I wear one, not to mention the rest of the disadvantages. Mind you, in GB, cool weather, weaker sun, it would be take it or leave it. On wet roads, probably take it
  • gethinceri
    gethinceri Posts: 1,517
    I only ever take it when it's wet.
  • lawrences
    lawrences Posts: 1,011
    Gethinceri wrote:
    I only ever take it when it's wet.

    Then why the hell did you say he "must wear" a bike helmet?
  • Sorry, I missed the flippancy of this thread before I read the rules.

    But the rules didn't tell me how to drink on a ride. Stop and swig, or sip on the teat?
  • JackPozzi
    JackPozzi Posts: 1,191
    Balls.

    2 rules to road cycling

    1. Cycle
    2. On the road

    (And rule 2 has a little leeway)
  • gethinceri
    gethinceri Posts: 1,517
    lawrences wrote:
    Gethinceri wrote:
    I only ever take it when it's wet.

    Then why the hell did you say he "must wear" a bike helmet?

    Read it again as if it's just meant to be a puerile waste of your time.
  • Yawn... blah.............blah.............blah........ bad jokes .............. blah.......... blah.............blah.............. positively hilarious. :lol:

    Nice oxymoron :D

    You think those are jokes? :lol:
  • Paul 8v
    Paul 8v Posts: 5,458
    I don't think some people get that the rules are tongue in cheek. Some great articles on that website sometimes.
  • meursault
    meursault Posts: 1,433
    Paul 8v wrote:
    I don't think some people get that the rules are tongue in cheek. Some great articles on that website sometimes.

    Agreed, some of the best on the web.
    Superstition sets the whole world in flames; philosophy quenches them.

    Voltaire