personality changing
its really hard to describe how im feeling despite having a keen interest in psychology. ill start at the beginning I used to really into gaming and computers I mean bordering on the obsessive literally used to constantly be thinking about it in fact I spent about 6/7 years of life after school studying them and building a few myself etc. year or so back they suddenly lost interest in it and dropped computer building and that kind of thing. im making this thread because i went in a game shop today and a pc shop and realised i have absolutely no interest in anything in either of the shops when only a couple of years back i would of been climbing the walls waiting for new consoles and games. ive recently sold all my games consoles and i thought i would really miss gaming. i cant help feeling ive wasted the last 6 years or so of my life in something that doesn't remotely interest me now. also can help feeling if i would came to this revelation earlier i might be doing a bit better in life also i guess my personality and i can feel im becoming a different person which is slightly weird.
if this doesn't make any sense then i guess you have to feel it to fully understand
if this doesn't make any sense then i guess you have to feel it to fully understand
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Passions/hobbies come and go and they pick us rather than we pick them.
For some people they can be very involving and time consuming. Sometimes they may be a form of escape from problems and anxieties.
Otherwise lack of interest in stuff that we normally enjoy can be a classic symptom of depression...
As for wasting time, think about cycling. Technically it's nothing more than just spending unproductively countless hours pedalling, sweating, drinking and burning many calories for nothing...
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hopefully its keeping me fit.Barteos wrote:Passions/hobbies come and go and they choose us rather than we choose them.
For some people they can be very involving and time consuming. Sometimes they may be a form of escape from problems and anxieties.
Otherwise lack of interest in stuff that we normally enjoy can be a classic symptom of depression...
As for wasting time, think about cycling. Technically it's nothing more than just spending unproductively countless hours pedalling, sweating, drinking and burning many calories for nothing...0 -
No point looking back, that's how people end up obsessing over failed relationships and then become stalkers/ serial killers.
Presumably you were happy when you had Computer Games as a hobby so no reason why you should look back on it as a mistake.
Mountain biking is getting you fit and it's also an adrenaline sport, so you'll get the feel good endorphins from it too.0 -
I had the same thing with archery, I have several bows, competed locally, but started to lose interest due the time that I had to put into it practicing and travelling to competitions and stupid club politics. Haven't shot for over a year, am I interested in getting back into it, nope much prefer mountain biking. Don't look back, look forward theres a world of hills, trails and downhills to conquer0
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Was there a specific event/reason/happening that caused you to stop taking an interest in them?0
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as 97th choice says, you hardly wasted time if you were enjoying it!!0
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It's definitely weird, I was into fishing as my main hobby, thousands spent on kit, totally obsessed, even making a decent living at it, then one morning I woke up to go to a match and just didn't. Never went again and had no association with it, and I've never missed it.
Why does it just switch off?0 -
Getting deep0
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styxd wrote:Was there a specific event/reason/happening that caused you to stop taking an interest in them?
yeah,
im 24 years old I still do the same job I could of done when I was 16.also more personal reasons as most people of guessed gaming non stop doesn't lead to wonderfull social life and neither does working a dead end job 5 days a week. a few other personal reason's im a bit socially inept for want off a better word ironically im fine online LOL. feel free to speculate on the rest most people did and do.
I sat bored to high hell one night waiting for a 25 man raid to start(warcraft thing) started thinking about all the people younger then me with better jobs then me started thinking well I could be better and I could be more then a typical nerd gamer with a shit job and no social life so I quit gaming.
YES I REALLY ENJOYED GAMING it was a kinda escape from the crushing reality of shitty job crappy social life and etc.0 -
I've ridden motorcycles for 20 years (half my life - I'm 40 now) and used to live for, on and around bikes, but for the last few years the enthusiasm's just been waning, and they just don't light my fire like they used to. I have four bikes (two half built, two complete), one of which is nearly new, extensively modified, utterly gorgeous and an absolutely brilliant bike to ride (proper hooligan tool), but I only did 350 miles on it last year, and haven't even had it out this year at all so far, it's just 9 grand of dead money sat under a cover. My new friends are Citalopram and MTB trail riding, lol - the endorphins help supplement the Citalopram, the exercise is good for me, and so far I'm really enjoying it.0
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mountain biking is much more fun then computer games.0
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I'm not saying there's anything wrong with you, you might be perfectly happy.
But have you been to see your doctor? They may be able to arrange for some sort of counselling or similar.0 -
Best decision I've made in a long time - should've gone to the doctor a long time ago.0
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styxd wrote:I'm not saying there's anything wrong with you, you might be perfectly happy.
But have you been to see your doctor? They may be able to arrange for some sort of counselling or similar.
ABSOULTELY NO.
for one reason only.
the more people tell you have a problem the more you start to believe it and more unlikely you will ever be able to forget/recover.
i don't have any major health problems im jus annoyed and kinda upset my life hasn't gone quiet as i planned. its a little depressing when i think about it. so i thought id share see if anyone has any similar experience
i guess once i start college and hopefully progress to uni and start to get my life back on track i'll be a lot happyier
if work was less shit and people were less annoying and i got a laid i would be happy :P0 -
andrewgrundill wrote:styxd wrote:I'm not saying there's anything wrong with you, you might be perfectly happy.
But have you been to see your doctor? They may be able to arrange for some sort of counselling or similar.
ABSOULTELY NO.
for one reason only.
the more people tell you have a problem the more you start to believe it and more unlikely you will ever be able to forget/recover.
Eh? Sorry, but that is just total bollox, lol. The doctor's not there to tell you that you have a problem - they're there to help fix it. It took something really bad to happen for me to finally (and long after I should've done it originally) go and see a doctor, and it was absolutely the right thing to do - I think that without talking to someone and asking for help that there's a very real possibility that I wouldn't have seen my next birthday.
And if you want to get laid, you already have an internet connection - the internet's full of women who want to get laid too, lol.0 -
andrewgrundill wrote:if work was less shoot and people were less annoying and i got a laid i would be happy :P
Counselling or CBT might be able to help you with that. I'm no expert, worth looking into though, surely?
I don't even know you, you're probably fine. Just reading things like this is very sad http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22854301
its worth seeking help if you're feeling a bit low.0 -
Im the same as you. I was a big time gamer only last summer, and i spent almost all of my hours that i was awake keening it out on the Xbox. I was badly hooked.
Then i built my first bike and that was it really. Now if someone were to break my xbox i really couldnt care less. Its just gotten so boring for me, and id rather be riding around than be sitting indoors playing games. Now my hobby is bikes, and not gaming. It just happens i guess.
Now that im away from games, i think back and i just think about how much ive been missing out on a proper hobby. A hobby that actually benefits you. And some people would probably call me a psycho for owning as many bikes as i do, and spending a monumental amount of time faffing around with bikes, stripping them, cleaning them, spraying them etc etc etc. But i can honestly say that at the moment there is nothing i like doing more than getting my hands dirty on bikes. And i tell you something, the satisfaction you get from standing back and looking at a nicely completed DIY spray painted bike, that youve taken to bits, upgraded, and spent many many hours of blood sweat and tears on is much better than the satisfaction you get from winning a Search and Destroy game in Call of Duty.
Im still quite stunned to know how many people that are my age or there abouts (im 16) that play games allllll day long and they dont realise that there are a million better hobbies out there, like bikes. 0 -
mountain biking is much more fun then gaming feeling much fitter and better about myself
im meeting a guy I met in work for biking tomorrow hopefully that goes well because were going to the pub afterwards. he jus brought a new merida bike and want to show it off I think.
im feeling much happyier today im looking forward to college and meeting new folks and hopefully meeting a few people on here for some trips maybe. if your totally bat shit crazy your probably fit in well. :P
thanks for the concern thou.
on a unrelated topic GT hows goes the bike?0 -
andrewgrundill wrote:im meeting a guy I met in work for biking tomorrow hopefully that goes well because were going to the pub afterwards. he jus brought a new merida bike and want to show it off I think.
You sure that's all he wants, lol? If he has an empty carrier bag, run away... 0 -
Kowalski675 wrote:andrewgrundill wrote:im meeting a guy I met in work for biking tomorrow hopefully that goes well because were going to the pub afterwards. he jus brought a new merida bike and want to show it off I think.
You sure that's all he wants, lol? If he has an empty carrier bag, run away...
ive been to pub with him before a few time jus never cycling .he's harmless and loaded but were friends so money doesn't enter the conversation much ( no idea what his bikes like he's only jus started mountain biking same as me so im not expecting it to be gr8) but it be nice to meet new people ill take a pic to show you guys
you and your warped mind :twisted:0 -
I spent 30 years of my life drifting along - I went to school, picked classes I liked, picked A levels based on the O levels I was good at, picked a degree based on those A levels as that is what everyone at my school did, Uni or Army. Left Uni to find a recession on so did a post grad in something I liked to avoid a year of crap jobs.
Left Uni and got a crap job anyway - it was actually an OK job as a first job just poorly paid but everyone I knew was poorly paid back then, drifted along in that for a while and then joined an accounting firm. Took accounting qualifications to progress my career but I was half arsed in my job and it wasn't really a career just a job masquerading as a career. I lived ina shared house with mates from Uni we all did the same kind of stuff, went out a bit, went to the gym a bit but none of us had money, we didnt have real hobbies and mostly led a pretty sad single life.
I moved jobs in 2000 to what looked like a good role, at about the same time I made a bunch of new friends through an ex at my old work. My job turned out to be crap and I spent 18 months in it looking for something better - I hated work with a passion but during this time my new friends sparked something in me for being more active, trying new things and being more adventurous. I had an old bike and got dragged off to do the C2C with them, rode a bit off road on the route and ended up taking my old bike to the local woods with some of them to ride. I went skiing with them, went sailing in Turkey, bought a dinghy and raced it with a couple of them in a local club, all these new experiences made my life feel more complete than before - humdrum work was still there but suddenly it didn't matter so much.
In 2005 I was still hating work (mainly hating London) - I had enjoyed a week long Alps trip with my bike, was on the train into London in the rain and decided to make a change - take all the stuff I loved and make it my life. I quit work a month later, went skiing for the winter, got instructor qualified and now live most of the year in Canada working as a ski instructor, I ride ski hills in the winter and bike parks in the summer.
I am 42 now, Have been doing winter seasons for the last 9 years, have canadian residency and I have traded a dull job for a great one and financial stability for financial destitution and I couldnt be happier. When I get a little drunk with my friends I will occasionally tell them how they changed my life.
Best of luck in your search, dont regret what you did to get to now, just make sure what you do from here on is better than what you did before. I cant regret the 12 years I spent as an accountant because they gave me the opportunities to do what I do now.Closet jockey wheel pimp whore.0 -
andrewgrundill wrote:its really hard to describe how im feeling despite having a keen interest in psychology. ill start at the beginning I used to really into gaming and computers I mean bordering on the obsessive literally used to constantly be thinking about it in fact I spent about 6/7 years of life after school studying them and building a few myself etc. year or so back they suddenly lost interest in it and dropped computer building and that kind of thing. im making this thread because i went in a game shop today and a pc shop and realised i have absolutely no interest in anything in either of the shops when only a couple of years back i would have been climbing the walls waiting for new consoles and games. ive recently sold all my games consoles and i thought i would really miss gaming. i cant help feeling ive wasted the last 6 years or so of my life in something that doesn't remotely interest me now. also can help feeling if i would came to this revelation earlier i might be doing a bit better in life also i guess my personality and i can feel im becoming a different person which is slightly weird.
if this doesn't make any sense then i guess you have to feel it to fully understand
Are you becoming someone different? Yeah, it's called getting older, interests change as we age. Like yourself I used to be well into gaming, then just stopped when I got more interested in the internet etc, and don't even really play games on my iPhone, they just seem a waste of time to me!
Interests and hobbies change, it's entirely normal.0 -
thanks mark
I guess they do
im going out on my bike to have fun.
despite it not being amazing its good enough for now0 -
paul.skibum wrote:I spent 30 years of my life drifting along - I went to school, picked classes I liked, picked A levels based on the O levels I was good at, picked a degree based on those A levels as that is what everyone at my school did, Uni or Army. Left Uni to find a recession on so did a post grad in something I liked to avoid a year of crap jobs.
Left Uni and got a crap job anyway - it was actually an OK job as a first job just poorly paid but everyone I knew was poorly paid back then, drifted along in that for a while and then joined an accounting firm. Took accounting qualifications to progress my career but I was half arsed in my job and it wasn't really a career just a job masquerading as a career. I lived ina shared house with mates from Uni we all did the same kind of stuff, went out a bit, went to the gym a bit but none of us had money, we didnt have real hobbies and mostly led a pretty sad single life.
I moved jobs in 2000 to what looked like a good role, at about the same time I made a bunch of new friends through an ex at my old work. My job turned out to be crap and I spent 18 months in it looking for something better - I hated work with a passion but during this time my new friends sparked something in me for being more active, trying new things and being more adventurous. I had an old bike and got dragged off to do the C2C with them, rode a bit off road on the route and ended up taking my old bike to the local woods with some of them to ride. I went skiing with them, went sailing in Turkey, bought a dinghy and raced it with a couple of them in a local club, all these new experiences made my life feel more complete than before - humdrum work was still there but suddenly it didn't matter so much.
In 2005 I was still hating work (mainly hating London) - I had enjoyed a week long Alps trip with my bike, was on the train into London in the rain and decided to make a change - take all the stuff I loved and make it my life. I quit work a month later, went skiing for the winter, got instructor qualified and now live most of the year in Canada working as a ski instructor, I ride ski hills in the winter and bike parks in the summer.
I am 42 now, Have been doing winter seasons for the last 9 years, have canadian residency and I have traded a dull job for a great one and financial stability for financial destitution and I couldnt be happier. When I get a little drunk with my friends I will occasionally tell them how they changed my life.
Best of luck in your search, dont regret what you did to get to now, just make sure what you do from here on is better than what you did before. I cant regret the 12 years I spent as an accountant because they gave me the opportunities to do what I do now.
Awesome! Good story.0 -
andrewgrundill wrote:mountain biking is much more fun then gaming feeling much fitter and better about myself
im meeting a guy I met in work for biking tomorrow hopefully that goes well because were going to the pub afterwards. he jus brought a new merida bike and want to show it off I think.
im feeling much happyier today im looking forward to college and meeting new folks and hopefully meeting a few people on here for some trips maybe. if your totally bat shoot crazy your probably fit in well. :P
thanks for the concern thou.
on a unrelated topic GT hows goes the bike?
Definitely makes me feel better about myself. I had a pair of jeans that were really really baggy, wore them last may, i remember because i took them with me on a school trip. I put them back on for the sake of it a couple of weeks ago and it felt like i was wearing skinny jeans. My legs (especially my thighs) have gone properly massive, makes me feel alot better about myself.
The bikes going pretty well so far mate. Just finished my maintenance today. Changed the upper bearing cage in my headset as the bearings were worn and kept falling out the cages. Caused a very funny feeling while riding, but ive sorted that out.
Also made adjustments to my front brake as i wasnt happy with the power. Now its pretty much perfect.
Tightened my rear wheel bearings as they loosened up. Stupid fking bolt through axle!
Handlebars were making a creaking noise for a reason that i am still not aware of. I loosened the stem (bit that clamps the bars) and tilted them down about 1mm. And the noise stopped. Very strange indeed...Almost had a massive accident. I had my anchor bolt loose on my v brake as i was going to check to see if i had the tension right before i tightened it up fully. I completely forgot to tighten it up... rode up into my drive way and i always do a little endo in my drive before i get off my bike, but this time i ended up in the bush on the other side of my driveway! Glad i didnt squeeze it that hard while riding round the block. 0 -
Having an interest in psychology makes f**k all difference to being able to describe yourself or your feelings. it helps you label others but reading books on the brain doesn't give anyone the super-power of introspection. Self awareness is a rare gift - you probably don't have it - most folk don't. The key is not to let it bother you - there's no reason why it should. The key to changes in your life is to accept them and get on with the job of living in the here and now as best you can, and not looking back and asking the 'what if's'. Those kinds of questions are draining and rarely give the answer we want.
The way I see it, it's like riding a trail. Look ahead and use your skills and experience to steer around obstacles that might have you off. If you always look over your shoulder, you'll hit a tree and hurt yourself. Riding then ceases to be fun, and if we're honest, we're here for a good time, not a long time. Stay loose and supple and learn to soak up the bumps and compressions. Jump if you have the skills to land them, but don't mourn if you haven't. Don't be scared to get off and walk if you think the track is too rough - ego has killed more people than caution. Enjoy the views. But whatever you do, don't get back to the car park and talk about how much better your bike in then everyone else's. It'll say more about you as a person than your bike ever will.
In short: Learn from your past - don't live in it. Things evolve - just evolve with them.How would I write my own epitaph? With a crayon - I'm not allowed anything I can sharpen to a sustainable point.
Disclaimer: Opinions expressed herein are worth exactly what you paid for them.0 -
That was really really well said. Nice one Clank!0
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Clank wrote:Having an interest in psychology makes f**k all difference to being able to describe yourself or your feelings. it helps you label others but reading books on the brain doesn't give anyone the super-power of introspection. Self awareness is a rare gift - you probably don't have it - most folk don't. The key is not to let it bother you - there's no reason why it should. The key to changes in your life is to accept them and get on with the job of living in the here and now as best you can, and not looking back and asking the 'what if's'. Those kinds of questions are draining and rarely give the answer we want.
The way I see it, it's like riding a trail. Look ahead and use your skills and experience to steer around obstacles that might have you off. If you always look over your shoulder, you'll hit a tree and hurt yourself. Riding then ceases to be fun, and if we're honest, we're here for a good time, not a long time. Stay loose and supple and learn to soak up the bumps and compressions. Jump if you have the skills to land them, but don't mourn if you haven't. Don't be scared to get off and walk if you think the track is too rough - ego has killed more people than caution. Enjoy the views. But whatever you do, don't get back to the car park and talk about how much better your bike in then everyone else's. It'll say more about you as a person than your bike ever will.
In short: Learn from your past - don't live in it. Things evolve - just evolve with them.
Who's stolen clanks loggin details?0 -
I started a new job 6 years ago after years of drifting around with no direction. Met a girl in work 5 .5 years ago and all was well with the world, moved in with her 2 years ago and still all was well. Work started to drain the enthusiasm from me and she started doing teacher training and i was helping her out by her using my car, helping with things for lessons. money was tight and i started feeling really low and this affected the relationship.
Anyway last august she got a job in somerset and my job is relatively well paid and i couldn't find any work down there that wouldn't involve me being miserable so she moved and i stayed in cardiff and we did the long distance thing. one week she stopped replying to texts and didn't want to speak on the phone saying she was too busy then 2 days later it's all over and i went rapidly downhill and went to a very dark place.
in hindsight i should've moved with her. but after 2 months off work and lots of pills for depression (i don't mind admitting that). I look back and think I had 5 great years with her but i may have moved and things may have ended anyway then i'd be stuck away from home on my own.people change and things move on. As you get older you realise what is important in your life.
I still have days of feeling crap about past events but you set yourself little goals and move forward.
But the point i'm trying to make I got to a stage where i didn't know what i was doing anymore and got to a stage where i thought i'd wasted my life and i wasn't happy but there is there's no quick fix and somedays you feel like saying feck it and giving up. but just take time to yourself and work on making your future what you want.
I'm moving into a new flat on my own in August. Picking up a few new hobbies along the way and doing things that are just for me. Make new friends have new adventures and don't look backgochel chan ddynion i mewn blew beisiau achos hwy cadernid bod eirth0 -
matthew h wrote:Clank wrote:Having an interest in psychology makes f**k all difference to being able to describe yourself or your feelings. it helps you label others but reading books on the brain doesn't give anyone the super-power of introspection. Self awareness is a rare gift - you probably don't have it - most folk don't. The key is not to let it bother you - there's no reason why it should. The key to changes in your life is to accept them and get on with the job of living in the here and now as best you can, and not looking back and asking the 'what if's'. Those kinds of questions are draining and rarely give the answer we want.
The way I see it, it's like riding a trail. Look ahead and use your skills and experience to steer around obstacles that might have you off. If you always look over your shoulder, you'll hit a tree and hurt yourself. Riding then ceases to be fun, and if we're honest, we're here for a good time, not a long time. Stay loose and supple and learn to soak up the bumps and compressions. Jump if you have the skills to land them, but don't mourn if you haven't. Don't be scared to get off and walk if you think the track is too rough - ego has killed more people than caution. Enjoy the views. But whatever you do, don't get back to the car park and talk about how much better your bike in then everyone else's. It'll say more about you as a person than your bike ever will.
In short: Learn from your past - don't live in it. Things evolve - just evolve with them.
Who's stolen clanks loggin details?
Brilliant0
