Forum home Road cycling forum The bottom bracket

Make me laugh.

cadenzaaacadenzaaa Posts: 36
edited June 2012 in The bottom bracket
Give us all your best SHORT joke! I'll start:

I was just at the cash machine and a little old lady said she was struggling to see the screen and asked me if I would check her balance for her. So, not wanting to impolite, I gave her a big shove and she fell over.

I know you can all do better :lol:
Apologies to anyone I may have offended with previous sig.
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    (Abbie, my daughter, age 6)
    Wind. Cold. Rain. Pick two.
  • cadenzaaacadenzaaa Posts: 36
    Bloke wanders down stairs after a night out on the whisky to find his missus frying one of his socks. 'What are you doing?' The wife says, 'well...last night you asked me to cook your sock!'
    Apologies to anyone I may have offended with previous sig.
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    A woman walked into a bar and asked for a Double Entendre.... so the barman gave her one!
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    99% of them said "How the F**k did you get in here ?"
    Cannondale Super Six Hi Mod Sram Red
  • dd1dd1 Posts: 73
    After both suffering depression for a while me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday.

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    Insta: ATEnduranceCoaching
    ABCC Cycling Coach
  • Kieran_BurnsKieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
    (40 year old joke)

    What goes peck-peck bang?

    A chicken in a minefield
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
  • Cleat EastwoodCleat Eastwood Posts: 7,508
    i was in an art gallery the other day and the artist said 'whats your favourite colour'

    I said ' greeny blue'

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    :D:D:D
    The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his life when he resigns
    momentarily from the herd and thinks for himself.
  • All these people using blue tooth head sets.....
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  • lemon63lemon63 Posts: 253
    wife to husband - "my [email protected] are too small, I want a censored job"
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    "what the hell will that do ?"
    "well it's worth a try, it worked on your censored didn't it !"
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    Right then.
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    Graham. :lol:
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    or:

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    Science adjusts it’s beliefs based on what’s observed.
    Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved
  • joshr96joshr96 Posts: 153
    I've been talking to the press about my battle with mental illness.

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    8)
    Carrera TDF 2011 Limited Edition.
    Crossbow Hybrid
    Boardman AiR 9.8 one day..
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    Stationery shop moves.
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    Psychic Fair - postponed due to unforseen circumstances.
    Science adjusts it’s beliefs based on what’s observed.
    Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved
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    3 children are asking there mum why they are called what they are. One says hey mum why am I called daisy then the mum says because when you were born a daisy dropped on your head. Another asks why she's call rose the mum says because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head. Then the final child shouts 'auurgh' and the mum says shut up fridge.
  • byke68byke68 Posts: 1,070
    Two crisps walking over the moors when a car pulls along side - "would you like a lift?" asks the driver, "no thanks" reply the crisps, "we're Walkers"

    I saw George Michael the other day, he was very depressed, said he was going to toss himself off the Empire State building
    Cannondale Trail 6 - censored brakes!
    Cannondale CAAD8
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    Man walks into a shop
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    Whats the solution? Just pedal faster you baby.

    Summer B,man Team Carbon LE#222
    Winter Alan Top Cross
    All rounder Spec. Allez.
  • bartman100bartman100 Posts: 544
    Q:Why did the chicken cross the road?
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    An Englishman, a Scotchman and an Irishman walk into a bar. The Englishman orders a glass of Rioja Gran Reserva 2002 Gran Vendema, because he likes a fine red wine. The Scotchman doesn't order anything because he is a recovering alcoholic and the Irishman isn't thirsty.
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    What is brown and sticky?








































    A Stick!
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    Your mums so fat that when she pulls her fanny flaps over her head she looks like a sugar puff.

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    Both from the same 13 year old student.
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