Sneaking new kit into the home

skinarelli

I live near a certain well known online retailer who provides a reserve and collect service. As such I rarely need parcels delivered which leaves me free to smuggle in what I like once from the back of my van (once the wife has taken the kids to school !!). She rarely notices what's new and as my credit card statements are paperless now!!

navrig

I am in the fortunate position of working away from home and have a flat during the week in Leeds. This is useful for the purchases which fit into small suitcases but not so good for bigger purchases.

The situation unwound when SWMBO insisted on visiting me in Leeds. My flat is too small to hide the bike and turbo trainer I keep there.

That's when the "better than another woman" argument won at the day.

I current have a set of wheels sitting in Wheelcraft north of Glasgow. I rarely drive in that direction so now I need an excuse to do so and then need to sneak in with the offending hoops. Then how do I hide the old ones which are ok as winter or spare wheels.

EPTR1

Well I started this thread and I am arranged for a new Garmin to be delivered on Thursday when "she who must be obeyed" was in work. Great plan, except the wife had a bug and was off work. I just about got away with it cos she was ill in bed and did not open the door to the postman. I think the best policy is man up, be honest, spend what you can afford and love your wife. lol.

dizzyblonde82

My husband has given up on me and what I am buying, even the postman commented that he could be out of a job if I wasn't around lol!

I did have a secret bank account once but got busted as my husband finally worked out that we were with one supplier for gas and electric and not a different one for each as per my bills spreadsheet

Fortunately my husband is understanding and even suggested that my new bike was too nice to be kept in the shed and made room for me to store it in the front room!

cornerblock

dizzyblonde82 wrote:

My husband has given up on me and what I am buying, even the postman commented that he could be out of a job if I wasn't around lol!

I did have a secret bank account once but got busted as my husband finally worked out that we were with one supplier for gas and electric and not a different one for each as per my bills spreadsheet

Fortunately my husband is understanding and even suggested that my new bike was too nice to be kept in the shed and made room for me to store it in the front room!

He sounds great, does he have a brother? :? :shock:

Gary D

Peddle Up! wrote:

I just stuff the kit down the front of my shorts and tell her I'm pleased to see her.

Bit difficult if it is a Dura Ace standard double chainset :shock: :shock:

Gary.

ted-on-tour

Ive taken to using the over priced method as matt581 also suggested, but I also use the 'trade off' method.

So if i want a new jersey....she has a new purse or handbag ect ect.....
It gets a bit expensive but at least then I'm only buying things when I really want them, not just an impulse buy.

When I had my bike, I said I wanted it for something for me to do, something thats mine in the house

she said "what am I going to have thats mine, I want something new too"

So I bought her a hoover.....

pneumatic

It all depends on how long you've been married:
0-1 years: she knows but she doesn't know what to do about it
1-3 years: she knows but you don't know she knows so you carry on deluding yourself that you are getting away with it
4-6 years: she knows and you know she knows but she doesn't do anything about it so you think it is still ok
7-10 years: she knows and you know she knows you know but you let her buy shoes and bags and ornaments and assume that is somehow the same thing so its ok.
10+ years (especially if you now have kids): she knows and you are and always have been a selfish bar steward and she will never fail to remind you of the occasion when, after only three days of your marriage, you bought that multitool with the money that she had set aside for a vase and you are in fact a total bar steward and don't you forget it but would you like a cup of tea?

Just go with the flow. (and don't imagine anything other than the fact that she knows)

barty81

ive just spunked £500 in the last couple of weeks on components for my bike but didnt have the balls to tell the missus. few days later i was feeling brave because i had a bit to much to drink, so with my most stupid guilty/naughty/retarded face i could pull i told her. ended with i dont care about how much money you spent im just pissed off that you never told me, basically dont be a sneaky b*****d behind my back.
Your never going to win. but the sneaky way is the only way im affraid, unless your missus gets wet over the thought of mtb components!!!

jibberjim

barty81 wrote:

ended with i dont care about how much money you spent im just pissed off that you never told me, basically dont be a sneaky b*****d behind my back.
Your never going to win. but the sneaky way is the only way im affraid, unless your missus gets wet over the thought of mtb components!!!

Erm, she doesn't care how much, she does care if you go behind your back - but you say the sneaky way is the way?

WEIRD!

springtide9

My wife hated me buying camera equipment. I don't think she really sees the point and even £100 and it would turn out as a major argument.

On the bike front, it's more like £250 before she really cares. I think she sees cycling as something that is good for me, so doesn't care as much.

Interestingly, we've spend £300 on fine dining (for two) on occasion, with over £200 almost typical (but we don't eat out that much), but has never stated this as ever being excessive.

It comes down to how you value money and how it's spent on different items; it's not about the amount, but the perceived value. An expensive lens in my wife's eye is a waste of money, although she loves the photographs of the kids that the lens gives (but doesn't see the link).
On the other hand, the cycling link she sees my improved fitness and physique (and probably more importantly, I'll live longer), so has more value.

Talking with my Father In Law, it seems this is an old subject and various practices have been occurring for years.

I don't hide things, but maybe bend the truth a little (or give limited responses), but try not to be completely dishonest. It's more the case of "she knows", "I know", but we rarely discuss in detail purchases.
It's almost an unwritten rule that, as long as we manage our finances, are not in debt, and save a little; she may not agree with my purchases and will on occasion bring it up in an argument, and generally it's something she would prefer didn't happen, but puts up with it.

On the other side of the fence, I have bought her stuff like mobile phones etc which were relatively expensive, but she doesn't see the value because of the product type. She may have wanted it, asked for it, wanted me to pay for it, but ultimately doesn't look after it considering it's value.

Going back a few paragraphs. it's generally about perceived value vs actual value that is the issue.

barty81

jibberjim wrote:

barty81 wrote:

ended with i dont care about how much money you spent im just pissed off that you never told me, basically dont be a sneaky b*****d behind my back.
Your never going to win. but the sneaky way is the only way im affraid, unless your missus gets wet over the thought of mtb components!!!

Erm, she doesn't care how much, she does care if you go behind your back - but you say the sneaky way is the way?

WEIRD!

yes it is weird! but i do love living on the edge.

morstar

Slightly different situation here. We struggle financially due to the Mrs totally reckless spending. She always declares she is happy for me to spend on myself as I rarely do (whilst I actually cover all the bills).
Anyhow, I still keep most of my limited spending under the radar as I am certain she would interpret my spending as implied financial health, leading to further spending on her part.
A sad state of affairs but just the way we bumble along.

MountainMonster

morstar wrote:

Slightly different situation here. We struggle financially due to the Mrs totally reckless spending. She always declares she is happy for me to spend on myself as I rarely do (whilst I actually cover all the bills).
Anyhow, I still keep most of my limited spending under the radar as I am certain she would interpret my spending as implied financial health, leading to further spending on her part.
A sad state of affairs but just the way we bumble along.

My wife knows that I am very good friends with the mechanics and owner of our LBS, so she never even asks what something cost when I bring something new home. She just assumes I got it super cheap for what it is and is content.

Hiding is the worst thing you can do in the end, it wasn't like this in the beginning of our relationship, as we were both very poor due to putting me through University, and she through nursing school. Now though that we both work, things are well good financially, and she buys lots of painting things, so we both spend a decent amount, and have no right to say something about the other persons spending.