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a good police story thread ......

motopattermotopatter Posts: 179
edited July 2011 in Commuting chat
errrrr......... ummmmm........


you first :oops: , I haven't a good story to tell about the police (based on personal experience)
wave your willy here !!!! :)
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  • motopattermotopatter Posts: 179
    ok apart from this one > http://www.bikeradar.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=12787031


    :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :lol:
    wave your willy here !!!! :)
  • I liked the one about thieves breaking in and stealing all the toilet seats at the local nick..




    ..... apparently the Police have nothing to go on. :P
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • thelawnetthelawnet Posts: 719
    edited June 2011
    Er there was the polce constable who just got about £5m after possibly riding on the pavement and getting hit by a lorry due to the crappy road-works done by E-on.

    Did you hear about that one?
  • seatalteaseataltea Posts: 594
    'nulla tenaci invia est via'
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  • motopattermotopatter Posts: 179
    seataltea wrote:

    I inferred based on personal experience - is that you then? :shock:
    wave your willy here !!!! :)
  • seatalteaseataltea Posts: 594
    motopatter wrote:
    seataltea wrote:

    I inferred based on personal experience - is that you then? :shock:

    yes, yes it is
    'nulla tenaci invia est via'
    FCN4
    Boardman HT Pro fully X0'd
    CUBE Peleton 2012
    Genesis Aether 20 all season commuter
  • motopattermotopatter Posts: 179
    seataltea wrote:
    motopatter wrote:
    seataltea wrote:

    I inferred based on personal experience - is that you then? :shock:

    yes, yes it is

    then I sincerely hope now behind bars your bumhole gets a bbc drilled in dry every morning lunch and noon :shock:


    :wink:
    wave your willy here !!!! :)
  • TuckerUKTuckerUK Posts: 398
    I'm as quick to jump on the anti-Police bandwagon as the next guy, but...

    Many years ago, I was going shopping with the missus and young kids. I park the car, get the pushchair out and assemble it, strap the nipper in, and the whole time a Policeman with his bicycle is standing there watching us. I lock the car up and proceed to go shopping. I manage to take about four steps away from the car when the Policeman stops me and says "You can't park there!".

    I went ballistic!

    I couldn't believe he had just watched me unload the car, strap the nipper in...why didn't he says something earlier?

    Still ranting and raving I got back in my car, spun the wheels bouncing ff the rev limiter in first and second, shot up the road and skidded to a halt further in a proper parking space.

    By the time I'd got out the car and locked it he'd managed to cycle to meet me. I bet you can guess the rest?

    Wrong!

    He apologised!

    He apologises, explained that he thought I was just dropping them off, and hadn't meant to upset me. How censored did that make me feel? I felt gutted!

    I was so impressed by his demeanour, I wrote a letter of praise to the local Police Station.
    "Coming through..."
  • motopattermotopatter Posts: 179
    TuckerUK wrote:
    I'm as quick to jump on the anti-Police bandwagon as the next guy, but...

    Many years ago, I was going shopping with the missus and young kids. I park the car, get the pushchair out and assemble it, strap the nipper in, and the whole time a Policeman with his bicycle is standing there watching us. I lock the car up and proceed to go shopping. I manage to take about four steps away from the car when the Policeman stops me and says "You can't park there!".

    I went ballistic!

    I couldn't believe he had just watched me unload the car, strap the nipper in...why didn't he says something earlier?

    Still ranting and raving I got back in my car, spun the wheels bouncing ff the rev limiter in first and second, shot up the road and skidded to a halt further in a proper parking space.

    By the time I'd got out the car and locked it he'd managed to cycle to meet me. I bet you can guess the rest?

    Wrong!

    He apologised!

    He apologises, explained that he thought I was just dropping them off, and hadn't meant to upset me. How shoot did that make me feel? I felt gutted!

    I was so impressed by his demeanour, I wrote a letter of praise to the local Police Station.

    err he saw you unload the car, lock it and leave it with your family and say "you can't park there" - because he thought you were dropping them off????? That really makes no sense at all. I mean, you locked and left the car so it was parked right?
    Even if you were 'dropping them off' the car is still parked?? And presumably if you were 'dropping off' you would have left soon after he finished saying "you can't park there" (when he meant you can't unload there and then drive off leaving the space empty within about 2 minutes for some to actually park in even though you're not allowed to park there unless you are parking there, for longer than he thinks you will be parking there) so the space would have been available for someone to park/ not park there, and incur the same perplexing stupidity :?

    if I've read your typed words right - another great story of how stupid a copper can be with his/ hes 'powers' :roll:
    wave your willy here !!!! :)
  • motopattermotopatter Posts: 179
    motopatter wrote:
    TuckerUK wrote:
    I'm as quick to jump on the anti-Police bandwagon as the next guy, but...

    Many years ago, I was going shopping with the missus and young kids. I park the car, get the pushchair out and assemble it, strap the nipper in, and the whole time a Policeman with his bicycle is standing there watching us. I lock the car up and proceed to go shopping. I manage to take about four steps away from the car when the Policeman stops me and says "You can't park there!".

    I went ballistic!

    I couldn't believe he had just watched me unload the car, strap the nipper in...why didn't he says something earlier?

    Still ranting and raving I got back in my car, spun the wheels bouncing ff the rev limiter in first and second, shot up the road and skidded to a halt further in a proper parking space.

    By the time I'd got out the car and locked it he'd managed to cycle to meet me. I bet you can guess the rest?

    Wrong!

    He apologised!

    He apologises, explained that he thought I was just dropping them off, and hadn't meant to upset me. How shoot did that make me feel? I felt gutted!

    I was so impressed by his demeanour, I wrote a letter of praise to the local Police Station.

    err he saw you unload the car, lock it and leave it with your family and say "you can't park there" - because he thought you were dropping them off????? That really makes no sense at all. I mean, you locked and left the car so it was parked right?
    Even if you were 'dropping them off' the car is still parked?? And presumably if you were 'dropping off' you would have left soon after he finished saying "you can't park there" (when he meant you can't unload there and then drive off leaving the space empty within about 2 minutes for some to actually park in even though you're not allowed to park there unless you are parking there, for longer than he thinks you will be parking there) so the space would have been available for someone to park/ not park there, and incur the same perplexing stupidity :?

    if I've read your typed words right - another great story of how stupid a copper can be with his/ hes 'powers' :roll:

    ahhh..... the penny drops :oops: :oops: :oops:

    he thought you were unloading (in an unloading space) and when he saw you leave he said "you can't park there".
    I would have gone ballistic too as he was doing it on purpose, the censored :lol:
    wave your willy here !!!! :)
  • seatalteaseataltea Posts: 594
    motopatter what is your occupation ?
    'nulla tenaci invia est via'
    FCN4
    Boardman HT Pro fully X0'd
    CUBE Peleton 2012
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  • motopattermotopatter Posts: 179
    currently a retail sales assistant, was an assistant accountant for many years (AAT qualified), have also been cabinet maker and post-formed work tops.

    why? does it have a bearing?
    wave your willy here !!!! :)
  • seatalteaseataltea Posts: 594
    motopatter wrote:
    currently a retail sales assistant, was an assistant accountant for many years (AAT qualified), have also been cabinet maker and post-formed work tops.

    why? does it have a bearing?

    no just wondered but I tell you what I haven't a good story to tell about retail sales assistants (based on personal experience), which is kinda ironic really

    weird how the world works
    'nulla tenaci invia est via'
    FCN4
    Boardman HT Pro fully X0'd
    CUBE Peleton 2012
    Genesis Aether 20 all season commuter
  • motopattermotopatter Posts: 179
    seataltea wrote:
    motopatter wrote:
    currently a retail sales assistant, was an assistant accountant for many years (AAT qualified), have also been cabinet maker and post-formed work tops.

    why? does it have a bearing?

    no just wondered but I tell you what I haven't a good story to tell about retail sales assistants (based on personal experience), which is kinda ironic really

    weird how the world works

    really :roll you've made yourself look about 7 years old :lol:

    I think you're kinda full of BS. Get you're own thread if you struggle reading and you've nothing to contribute to this one. But before you go.... what is your occupation?


    v
    v
    v
    v
    v
    wave your willy here !!!! :)
  • seatalteaseataltea Posts: 594
    mystery shopper employed by large retail chains to assess the quality of retail assistants
    'nulla tenaci invia est via'
    FCN4
    Boardman HT Pro fully X0'd
    CUBE Peleton 2012
    Genesis Aether 20 all season commuter
  • al2098al2098 Posts: 174
    Isnt this supposed to be about cycling?
    Go to a whinging forum guys.
  • motopattermotopatter Posts: 179
    seataltea wrote:
    censored

    yep, thought so. You are clearly not aware of the retail environment and are clutching at straws in an endeavor to higher you perceived IQ.

    and question remains.... what is your occupation?
    wave your willy here !!!! :)
  • motopattermotopatter Posts: 179
    al2098 wrote:
    Isnt this supposed to be about cycling?
    Go to a whinging forum guys.

    I didn't start it..... oh yeah I started the thread- but as a result of various other posts near the top of this forum relevant to the police use/ miss use of their powers.
    It seems to come up so frequently I was trying to get a refreshing look at police improving the lives of individuals on this forum by way of personal account.

    Some posters have not grasped this (even though clear) and de-rail the thread with personal diatribe directed against me. I can only assume they think I am 7 and their dad is bigger than my dad :wink:
    wave your willy here !!!! :)
  • thelawnetthelawnet Posts: 719
    seataltea wrote:
    motopatter wrote:
    currently a retail sales assistant, was an assistant accountant for many years (AAT qualified), have also been cabinet maker and post-formed work tops.

    why? does it have a bearing?

    no just wondered but I tell you what I haven't a good story to tell about retail sales assistants (based on personal experience), which is kinda ironic really

    weird how the world works

    IME clothes stores seem to sell about 80% of their clothes to women, men don't get as much floor space and the clothes are put in worse locations. In my local Debenhams store there is a changing room in the men's clothing section with a sign on it saying 'this changing room is OPEN, please ask'. So you ask someone and they come and open it and stand there while you get changed, and boy do they look UNHAPPY about doing it.

    So half the time I just don't bother trying the item on because you ask someone at the till and they don't want to help then you have to find someone on the floor and they're unhappy to help, the first thing you try on doesn't fit and by the time you've seen the expresion on the face of the shop assistant for a few minutes while you try it onthe first time, you can't really be bothered trying on any more.

    Waitrose have nice staff though you get posh young totty here in Surrey whereas when I went to the Westfield one they weren't friendly or nice at all.

    Oversized shops like the DIY superstores, Halfords, Toys R Us seem to get the worst staff.
  • motopattermotopatter Posts: 179
    I don't work in a clothes store :wink:

    don't jump to conclusions peeps.

    some shops are specialist and don't employ every numpty that applies
    wave your willy here !!!! :)
  • thelawnetthelawnet Posts: 719
    motopatter wrote:
    I don't work in a clothes store :wink:

    Nobody said you did, but someone asked for retail stories, I gave mine.

    My wife worked in a specialist store - there are quite a few men who go in there to letch over the staff. Nothing illegal, just trying to chat her up, where do you come from, etc.
  • motopattermotopatter Posts: 179
    edited June 2011
    thelawnet wrote:
    motopatter wrote:
    I don't work in a clothes store :wink:

    Nobody said you did, but someone asked for retail stories, I gave mine.

    I clearly pointed out what this thread was about so why write all this then? >
    "IME clothes stores seem to sell about 80% of their clothes to women, men don't get as much floor space and the clothes are put in worse locations. In my local Debenhams store there is a changing room in the men's clothing section with a sign on it saying 'this changing room is OPEN, please ask'. So you ask someone and they come and open it and stand there while you get changed, and boy do they look UNHAPPY about doing it.

    So half the time I just don't bother trying the item on because you ask someone at the till and they don't want to help then you have to find someone on the floor and they're unhappy to help, the first thing you try on doesn't fit and by the time you've seen the expresion on the face of the shop assistant for a few minutes while you try it onthe first time, you can't really be bothered trying on any more. "

    my breath is wasted here . .... .. . . .. .... . . ... . .

    (as was yours)
    wave your willy here !!!! :)
  • seatalteaseataltea Posts: 594
    motopatter wrote:
    I don't work in a clothes store :wink:

    don't jump to conclusions peeps.

    some shops are specialist and don't employ every numpty that applies

    Congrats on being better than the other numpties, do you work at Anne Summers ?
    'nulla tenaci invia est via'
    FCN4
    Boardman HT Pro fully X0'd
    CUBE Peleton 2012
    Genesis Aether 20 all season commuter
  • motopattermotopatter Posts: 179
    seataltea wrote:
    motopatter wrote:
    I don't work in a clothes store :wink:

    don't jump to conclusions peeps.

    some shops are specialist and don't employ every numpty that applies

    Congrats on being better than the other numpties, do you work at Anne Summers ?

    It's not difficult, based on a large range of the selection I have seen. You may manage it one day...... If you were an employer I guess your staff would be the first that applied?

    No, not AS.

    Question still to you > what is your occupation?
    wave your willy here !!!! :)
  • seatalteaseataltea Posts: 594
    I'm your boss patter now get back to work and stop wasting your time on the internet, those crotchless knickers are not going to sell themselves....'
    'nulla tenaci invia est via'
    FCN4
    Boardman HT Pro fully X0'd
    CUBE Peleton 2012
    Genesis Aether 20 all season commuter
  • motopattermotopatter Posts: 179
    al2098 wrote:
    Isnt this supposed to be about cycling?
    Go to a whinging forum guys.

    "Commuting Chat
    Come and join in the banter: discuss here anything you want, whether bike related or not!"

    just to set the records straight :D
    wave your willy here !!!! :)
  • motopattermotopatter Posts: 179
    seataltea wrote:
    I'm your boss patter now get back to work and stop wasting your time on the internet, those crotchless knickers are not going to sell themselves....'

    sorry sir,
    you're not going to make me stick my whatsit up your thingy again are you? It's red raw, and your thingy must be chafing as we ran out of lube several days ago.....

    :lol:

    I actually got a warning at a previous employment as I'd accrued nearly 7000 posts on a forum, mostly during work hours, over about 12 months :lol::lol::lol:
    wave your willy here !!!! :)
  • thelawnetthelawnet Posts: 719
    motopatter wrote:
    thelawnet wrote:
    motopatter wrote:
    I don't work in a clothes store :wink:

    Nobody said you did, but someone asked for retail stories, I gave mine.

    I clearly pointed out what this thread was about so why write all this then?

    Why not? It's as much use as anything else.
  • motopattermotopatter Posts: 179
    thelawnet wrote:

    I clearly pointed out what this thread was about so why write all this then?

    Why not? It's as much use as anything else.

    you're making no sense :?
    I'm amazed you can still type from another planet. Is it alien technology or vvvvvvv long fingers?
    Please allow space on this thread for those that wish to contribute in relation to the topic. If your bag is just random derailing then there must be better forums.... I have spelled this out :evil:

    Get some zeds buddy :wink:
    wave your willy here !!!! :)
  • davieseedaviesee Posts: 6,473
    Simple answer would appear to be - get rid of the Police.

    How do you think that would work out? :roll:
    None of the above should be taken seriously, and certainly not personally.
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