An important mission on behalf of male cyclefolk

pastryboy

My wife thinks I have killed off all my spermazoles by cycling 100-150 miles per week for the last 18 months.

I am going to do her.

I will update this thread when her impregnation is confirmed thereby immediately squashing all speculation that cycling is bad for your testes.

Thanks for your support whilst I undertake this important mission.

Would a justgiving page be too much?

notsoblue

It doesn't make you infertile, it makes you impotent. Right guys?


Guys?


:oops:

asprilla

You do know that if you don't update this then we will reserve the right to refer to you as Jaffa until the end of time.

jonginge

BJUK to thread. BJUK to thread....

Sketchley

pastryboy wrote:

Would a justgiving page be too much?

Depends can we see a photo of your wife?

secretsam

Sketchley wrote:

pastryboy wrote:

Would a justgiving page be too much?

Depends can we see a photo of your wife?

Before and after...but probably not during... :shock:

hatbeard

notsoblue wrote:

It doesn't make you infertile, it makes you impotent. Right guys?


Guys?


:oops:

I thought it just made you more self impo'tent

Butterd2

You're not going to "do her" you're going to "smash 'er" come on keep up...

mattsaw

I'm in a similar position.

I'm kind of hoping that I'm semi-infertile just to prolong the wifes shopping trips to naughty websites

dhope

Mattsaw wrote:

I'm in a similar position.

I'm kind of hoping that I'm semi-infertile just to prolong the wifes shopping trips to naughty websites

Problem is you're doing it with a semi...
ahem, Taxi!

SimonAH

Oh timely timely. Momma had her coil removed yesterday (seriously). I only bought this house in the summer and I'm not losing my study to a nursery a second frikkin' time in six years.

How many miles do I have to hit on a weekly basis?

Is this why GTV is going all audax on us?

And would one of these help?

http://www.sheldonbrown.com/images/stonesaddle.jpeg

SimonAH

And whilst we're at it, 'Cyclefolk'?? Makes me feel like I should be 1'2" and live in an underground house with round doors....

Mr Plum

A selfless task indeed, I commend you, Sir.

pics or it didn't happen. I'll get my coat...

pastryboy

Apparently she needs to go to the doctor to stop some pill or other and start another - an appointment has been made. I will start smashing it Richard Keys style in a week or two.

I would post a picture but then I probably would end up with damage to my testes and be incapable of producing the requisite baby gravy.

She has been told she looks like Kylie Minogue and also Tina O'Brien. However, those comments were ten years ago and things change. Make no mistake, this is being done for the common good and I shall derive no pleasure from it.

I was able to find some naked pictures of Lorraine Kelly on the inetrnet and can therefore confirm I am most certainly not impotent.

For now I must hastily log out of this site and delete all history and she does use this computer from time to time. Time to bust open that bag of pumpkin seeds..

rjsterry

Brazil nuts are supposed to help as well.

SimonAH

Brazil nuts ARE radioactive.

CarlosDSanchez

I've comuted between 75 and 150 miles per week for the last 2 and a half years and knocked up my missus first month of trying. Not bad considering we're both in our mid 30's, so I don't think cycling has much effect. I eat mostly censored food drink to much beer and cycling is my only form of exercise, if that makes a difference.

rjsterry

SimonAH wrote:

Brazil nuts ARE radioactive.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

ince

pastryboy wrote:

baby gravy.

Not come across this term before, one to remenber.

Butterd2

It took me over 2 years to knock the missus up the 2nd time around.

Happiest 2 years of my life. (Thinks back whistfully to the regular sex.....)

Gussio

We need more informative threads like this one. Keep up the good work.

Cafewanda

I want to thank you 'cyclefolk' for making me laugh this morning. Has put me in a much better mood to do some work.


SimonAH - stop complaining and make the most of that room til sprog arrives



Carry on....

gtvlusso

Kids and cycling.....

Bear this in mind: I have been cycling for a very long time and I am now on child number 3. Number 4 is being touted as a possibility too. So, no cycling does not affect fertility, in my case - I.e. be careful if you share a water bottle with me.....

*Note, all kids knocked up within 2 months of trying......censored .

I can say with knowledge that 150 miles a week +, does nothing for your libido - all you wanna do is sleep. However, when you have a children, getting to do 100 to 150 mjles a week is bloody near impossible if you want to train for an event (at best I do 100 miles a week commuting)....you will be on-call 24/7 and will get about an hour a week to yourself. Getting any bedroom time is near impossible too - you become quite inventive and take any opportunity.

So, you could possibly become a broken man with no libido, no time to yourself, wandering around in a daze of tiredness and wearing clothes that are stained on the shoulder....but then junior will smile at you when you get home from a rubbish day at work and your world will become perfect and nothing matters except for that moment.

Kids are the best.

gtvlusso

Butterd2 wrote:

It took me over 2 years to knock the missus up the 2nd time around.

Happiest 2 years of my life. (Thinks back whistfully to the regular sex.....)

Must have been a hard 2 years........

Runoutofgears

SimonAH wrote:

I only bought this house in the summer and I'm not losing my study to a nursery a second frikkin' time in six years.

I lost my study to children over 20 years ago, no sign of getting it back any time soon

Drysuitdiver

gtvlusso wrote:

Kids and cycling.....

Bear this in mind: I have been cycling for a very long time and I am now on child number 3. Number 4 is being touted as a possibility too. So, no cycling does not affect fertility, in my case - I.e. be careful if you share a water bottle with me.....

*Note, all kids knocked up within 2 months of trying......censored .

I can say with knowledge that 150 miles a week +, does nothing for your libido - all you wanna do is sleep. However, when you have a children, getting to do 100 to 150 mjles a week is bloody near impossible if you want to train for an event (at best I do 100 miles a week commuting)....you will be on-call 24/7 and will get about an hour a week to yourself. Getting any bedroom time is near impossible too - you become quite inventive and take any opportunity.

So, you could possibly become a broken man with no libido, no time to yourself, wandering around in a daze of tiredness and wearing clothes that are stained on the shoulder....but then junior will smile at you when you get home from a rubbish day at work and your world will become perfect and nothing matters except for that moment.

Kids are the best.

+1 TO THAT

wgwarburton

Butterd2 wrote:

It took me over 2 years to knock the missus up the 2nd time around.

Happiest 2 years of my life. (Thinks back whistfully to the regular sex.....)

You used to play whist during sex?

Each to their own, of course, but not something I'd post on the 'net, I don't think....

Cheers,
W.

SimonAH

Don't get me wrong - I adore my daughter - but there was an article in the Times a while ago about couples who deliberately don't have kids, and comparing them to couples with the carpets knee deep in progeny.

There was a brilliant line from one of the 'multiply blessed' parents along the lines of;

"Children bring you loads of little pleasures, and they turn all your other little pleasures to censored "

UndercoverElephant

WGWarburton wrote:

Butterd2 wrote:

It took me over 2 years to knock the missus up the 2nd time around.

Happiest 2 years of my life. (Thinks back whistfully to the regular sex.....)

You used to play whist during sex?

Each to their own, of course, but not something I'd post on the 'net, I don't think....

Cheers,
W.

Certainly there was no need to (three card) brag about it.

CiB

UndercoverElephant wrote:

WGWarburton wrote:

Butterd2 wrote:

It took me over 2 years to knock the missus up the 2nd time around.

Happiest 2 years of my life. (Thinks back whistfully to the regular sex.....)

You used to play whist during sex?

Each to their own, of course, but not something I'd post on the 'net, I don't think....

Cheers,
W.

Certainly there was no need to (three card) brag about it.

Game of poker anyone?

<coat...>

rjsterry

gtvlusso wrote:

Kids and cycling.....

Bear this in mind: I have been cycling for a very long time and I am now on child number 3. Number 4 is being touted as a possibility too. So, no cycling does not affect fertility, in my case - I.e. be careful if you share a water bottle with me.....

*Note, all kids knocked up within 2 months of trying......censored .

I can say with knowledge that 150 miles a week +, does nothing for your libido - all you wanna do is sleep. However, when you have a children, getting to do 100 to 150 mjles a week is bloody near impossible if you want to train for an event (at best I do 100 miles a week commuting)....you will be on-call 24/7 and will get about an hour a week to yourself. Getting any bedroom time is near impossible too - you become quite inventive and take any opportunity.

So, you could possibly become a broken man with no libido, no time to yourself, wandering around in a daze of tiredness and wearing clothes that are stained on the shoulder....but then junior will smile at you when you get home from a rubbish day at work and your world will become perfect and nothing matters except for that moment.

Kids are the best.

This. My commute adds up to around 140miles a week, and by Friday evening I struggle to not fall asleep face down in my dinner.