Forum home Commuter cycling forum Commuting chat

An important mission on behalf of male cyclefolk

pastryboypastryboy Posts: 1,385
edited February 2011 in Commuting chat
My wife thinks I have killed off all my spermazoles by cycling 100-150 miles per week for the last 18 months.

I am going to do her.

I will update this thread when her impregnation is confirmed thereby immediately squashing all speculation that cycling is bad for your testes.

Thanks for your support whilst I undertake this important mission.

Would a justgiving page be too much?
«13

Posts

  • notsobluenotsoblue Posts: 5,838
    It doesn't make you infertile, it makes you impotent. Right guys?


    Guys?


    :oops:
  • asprillaasprilla Posts: 8,440
    edited January 2011
    You do know that if you don't update this then we will reserve the right to refer to you as Jaffa until the end of time.
    Mud - Genesis Vapour CCX
    Race - Fuji Norcom Straight
    Sun - Cervelo R3
    Winter / Commute - Dolan ADX
  • jongingejonginge Posts: 5,945
    BJUK to thread. BJUK to thread....
    FCN 2-4 "Shut up legs", Jens Voigt
    Planet-x Scott
    Rides
  • SketchleySketchley Posts: 4,235
    pastryboy wrote:

    Would a justgiving page be too much?

    Depends can we see a photo of your wife?
    --
    Chris

    Genesis Equilibrium - FCN 3/4/5
  • secretsamsecretsam Posts: 4,904
    Sketchley wrote:
    pastryboy wrote:

    Would a justgiving page be too much?

    Depends can we see a photo of your wife?

    Before and after...but probably not during... :shock:

    It's just a hill. Get over it.
  • hatbeardhatbeard Posts: 1,087
    notsoblue wrote:
    It doesn't make you infertile, it makes you impotent. Right guys?


    Guys?


    :oops:

    I thought it just made you more self impo'tent :lol:
    Hat + Beard
  • Butterd2Butterd2 Posts: 937
    You're not going to "do her" you're going to "smash 'er" come on keep up...
    Scott CR-1 (FCN 4)
    Pace RC200 FG Conversion (FCN 5)
    Giant Trance X

    My collection of Cols
  • mattsawmattsaw Posts: 907
    I'm in a similar position.

    I'm kind of hoping that I'm semi-infertile just to prolong the wifes shopping trips to naughty websites :D
    Bianchi C2C - Ritte Bosberg - Cervelo R3
    Strava
  • dhopedhope Posts: 6,699
    Mattsaw wrote:
    I'm in a similar position.

    I'm kind of hoping that I'm semi-infertile just to prolong the wifes shopping trips to naughty websites :D

    Problem is you're doing it with a semi...
    ahem, Taxi!
    Rose Xeon CW Disc
    CAAD12 Disc
    Condor Tempo
  • SimonAHSimonAH Posts: 3,730
    Oh timely timely. Momma had her coil removed yesterday (seriously). I only bought this house in the summer and I'm not losing my study to a nursery a second frikkin' time in six years.

    How many miles do I have to hit on a weekly basis?

    Is this why GTV is going all audax on us?

    And would one of these help?

    http://www.sheldonbrown.com/images/stonesaddle.jpeg
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • SimonAHSimonAH Posts: 3,730
    And whilst we're at it, 'Cyclefolk'?? Makes me feel like I should be 1'2" and live in an underground house with round doors....
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • Mr PlumMr Plum Posts: 1,097
    A selfless task indeed, I commend you, Sir.

    pics or it didn't happen. I'll get my coat...
    FCN 2 to 8
  • pastryboypastryboy Posts: 1,385
    Apparently she needs to go to the doctor to stop some pill or other and start another - an appointment has been made. I will start smashing it Richard Keys style in a week or two.

    I would post a picture but then I probably would end up with damage to my testes and be incapable of producing the requisite baby gravy.

    She has been told she looks like Kylie Minogue and also Tina O'Brien. However, those comments were ten years ago and things change. Make no mistake, this is being done for the common good and I shall derive no pleasure from it.

    I was able to find some naked pictures of Lorraine Kelly on the inetrnet and can therefore confirm I am most certainly not impotent.

    For now I must hastily log out of this site and delete all history and she does use this computer from time to time. Time to bust open that bag of pumpkin seeds..
  • rjsterryrjsterry Posts: 22,342
    Brazil nuts are supposed to help as well.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Liberal metropolitan, remoaner, traitor, "sympathiser", etc.
  • SimonAHSimonAH Posts: 3,730
    Brazil nuts ARE radioactive.
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • I've comuted between 75 and 150 miles per week for the last 2 and a half years and knocked up my missus first month of trying. Not bad considering we're both in our mid 30's, so I don't think cycling has much effect. I eat mostly censored food drink to much beer and cycling is my only form of exercise, if that makes a difference.
    Dolan Preffisio
    2010 Cube Agree SL
  • rjsterryrjsterry Posts: 22,342
    SimonAH wrote:
    Brazil nuts ARE radioactive.
    You say that like it's a bad thing.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Liberal metropolitan, remoaner, traitor, "sympathiser", etc.
  • inceince Posts: 289
    pastryboy wrote:
    baby gravy.
    Not come across this term before, one to remenber. :D
  • Butterd2Butterd2 Posts: 937
    It took me over 2 years to knock the missus up the 2nd time around.

    Happiest 2 years of my life. (Thinks back whistfully to the regular sex.....)
    Scott CR-1 (FCN 4)
    Pace RC200 FG Conversion (FCN 5)
    Giant Trance X

    My collection of Cols
  • GussioGussio Posts: 2,452
    We need more informative threads like this one. Keep up the good work.
  • CafewandaCafewanda Posts: 2,788
    :lol::lol::lol::lol:

    I want to thank you 'cyclefolk' for making me laugh this morning. Has put me in a much better mood to do some work.


    SimonAH - stop complaining and make the most of that room til sprog arrives :lol:



    Carry on....
  • gtvlussogtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    edited January 2011
    Kids and cycling.....

    Bear this in mind: I have been cycling for a very long time and I am now on child number 3. Number 4 is being touted as a possibility too. So, no cycling does not affect fertility, in my case - I.e. be careful if you share a water bottle with me.....

    *Note, all kids knocked up within 2 months of trying......censored .

    I can say with knowledge that 150 miles a week +, does nothing for your libido - all you wanna do is sleep. However, when you have a children, getting to do 100 to 150 mjles a week is bloody near impossible if you want to train for an event (at best I do 100 miles a week commuting)....you will be on-call 24/7 and will get about an hour a week to yourself. Getting any bedroom time is near impossible too - you become quite inventive and take any opportunity.

    So, you could possibly become a broken man with no libido, no time to yourself, wandering around in a daze of tiredness and wearing clothes that are stained on the shoulder....but then junior will smile at you when you get home from a rubbish day at work and your world will become perfect and nothing matters except for that moment.

    Kids are the best.
  • gtvlussogtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    Butterd2 wrote:
    It took me over 2 years to knock the missus up the 2nd time around.

    Happiest 2 years of my life. (Thinks back whistfully to the regular sex.....)

    Must have been a hard 2 years........
  • SimonAH wrote:
    I only bought this house in the summer and I'm not losing my study to a nursery a second frikkin' time in six years.

    I lost my study to children over 20 years ago, no sign of getting it back any time soon :(
    I ache, therefore I am.
  • gtvlusso wrote:
    Kids and cycling.....

    Bear this in mind: I have been cycling for a very long time and I am now on child number 3. Number 4 is being touted as a possibility too. So, no cycling does not affect fertility, in my case - I.e. be careful if you share a water bottle with me.....

    *Note, all kids knocked up within 2 months of trying......censored .

    I can say with knowledge that 150 miles a week +, does nothing for your libido - all you wanna do is sleep. However, when you have a children, getting to do 100 to 150 mjles a week is bloody near impossible if you want to train for an event (at best I do 100 miles a week commuting)....you will be on-call 24/7 and will get about an hour a week to yourself. Getting any bedroom time is near impossible too - you become quite inventive and take any opportunity.

    So, you could possibly become a broken man with no libido, no time to yourself, wandering around in a daze of tiredness and wearing clothes that are stained on the shoulder....but then junior will smile at you when you get home from a rubbish day at work and your world will become perfect and nothing matters except for that moment.

    Kids are the best.


    +1 TO THAT
    Veni Vidi cyclo I came I saw I cycled
    exercise.png
  • wgwarburtonwgwarburton Posts: 1,863
    Butterd2 wrote:
    It took me over 2 years to knock the missus up the 2nd time around.

    Happiest 2 years of my life. (Thinks back whistfully to the regular sex.....)

    You used to play whist during sex?

    Each to their own, of course, but not something I'd post on the 'net, I don't think....

    Cheers,
    W.
  • SimonAHSimonAH Posts: 3,730
    Don't get me wrong - I adore my daughter - but there was an article in the Times a while ago about couples who deliberately don't have kids, and comparing them to couples with the carpets knee deep in progeny.

    There was a brilliant line from one of the 'multiply blessed' parents along the lines of;

    "Children bring you loads of little pleasures, and they turn all your other little pleasures to censored "
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • Butterd2 wrote:
    It took me over 2 years to knock the missus up the 2nd time around.

    Happiest 2 years of my life. (Thinks back whistfully to the regular sex.....)

    You used to play whist during sex?

    Each to their own, of course, but not something I'd post on the 'net, I don't think....

    Cheers,
    W.

    Certainly there was no need to (three card) brag about it.
  • CiBCiB Posts: 6,098
    Butterd2 wrote:
    It took me over 2 years to knock the missus up the 2nd time around.

    Happiest 2 years of my life. (Thinks back whistfully to the regular sex.....)

    You used to play whist during sex?

    Each to their own, of course, but not something I'd post on the 'net, I don't think....

    Cheers,
    W.

    Certainly there was no need to (three card) brag about it.
    Game of poker anyone?

    <coat...>
  • rjsterryrjsterry Posts: 22,342
    gtvlusso wrote:
    Kids and cycling.....

    Bear this in mind: I have been cycling for a very long time and I am now on child number 3. Number 4 is being touted as a possibility too. So, no cycling does not affect fertility, in my case - I.e. be careful if you share a water bottle with me.....

    *Note, all kids knocked up within 2 months of trying......censored .

    I can say with knowledge that 150 miles a week +, does nothing for your libido - all you wanna do is sleep. However, when you have a children, getting to do 100 to 150 mjles a week is bloody near impossible if you want to train for an event (at best I do 100 miles a week commuting)....you will be on-call 24/7 and will get about an hour a week to yourself. Getting any bedroom time is near impossible too - you become quite inventive and take any opportunity.

    So, you could possibly become a broken man with no libido, no time to yourself, wandering around in a daze of tiredness and wearing clothes that are stained on the shoulder....but then junior will smile at you when you get home from a rubbish day at work and your world will become perfect and nothing matters except for that moment.

    Kids are the best.

    This. My commute adds up to around 140miles a week, and by Friday evening I struggle to not fall asleep face down in my dinner.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Liberal metropolitan, remoaner, traitor, "sympathiser", etc.
Sign In or Register to comment.