Topical humour...
Andy B
Posts: 8,115
When asked if he would be going with a 442, Fabio Capello replied, 'No. We'll be going with a 747. Better seats and more leg room'.
Q: What do you call an Englishman in the knock out stages of the World Cup?
A: A Referee.
Q: Why was Fabio Capello speeding?
A: To get three points.
Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog?
A: Because they can't hold on to a lead.
Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.
Q: Why do the English make better lovers than the Germans?
A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 45 minutes and still come second.
Q: What's the difference between O J Simpson and England?
A: O J Simpson had a more credible defence.
Oxo were going to bring out a Euro 2004 Commemorative cube painted red, white and blue in honour of the England squad. But it was a laughing stock and crumbled in the box.
Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied, "No way. You got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!"
Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing room – Robert Green was guarding the door.
Osama bin Laden has just released a new TV message to prove he is still alive. He said that the England Team performance against Germany was completely s**t. British intelligence have dismissed the claim, stating that the message could have been recorded any time in the last 44 years.
The England team went to visit an orphanage in South Africa this morning, "It's so good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling, and facing the impossible" said Jamal Omboto, aged 6.
[/shamelessly nicked from another forum]
Q: What do you call an Englishman in the knock out stages of the World Cup?
A: A Referee.
Q: Why was Fabio Capello speeding?
A: To get three points.
Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog?
A: Because they can't hold on to a lead.
Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.
Q: Why do the English make better lovers than the Germans?
A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 45 minutes and still come second.
Q: What's the difference between O J Simpson and England?
A: O J Simpson had a more credible defence.
Oxo were going to bring out a Euro 2004 Commemorative cube painted red, white and blue in honour of the England squad. But it was a laughing stock and crumbled in the box.
Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied, "No way. You got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!"
Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing room – Robert Green was guarding the door.
Osama bin Laden has just released a new TV message to prove he is still alive. He said that the England Team performance against Germany was completely s**t. British intelligence have dismissed the claim, stating that the message could have been recorded any time in the last 44 years.
The England team went to visit an orphanage in South Africa this morning, "It's so good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling, and facing the impossible" said Jamal Omboto, aged 6.
[/shamelessly nicked from another forum]
0
Comments
-
Don't mention the -- four...
New Coach is to be...Paul the Psychic Otcopus. Predicted every German win so far,
but as he was born/bred in Weymouth, he qualifies for ENNNGGUUURRRRLANDDD!
Should play in goal for us too.0 -
just had this on the text
WEATHER WARNING!!
Parts of Northern England to expect flooding as Scotland pisses itself laughing!!keep fit, eat well, die anyway!!0 -
Apparently david blaine is upset, after spending 72 hours in a box doing nothing.
Wayne rooney went and stole the record from him.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
Giant Anthem X0
