Your tales of getting "caught short" on a ride ?
JimmyK
Posts: 712
In work, I always keep a 1 litre bottle of water on my desk and I probably go through a 2nd refill. Today was no exception , so when I got back home at around 17.15 hrs, I grabbed the heel of a seeded loaf and plastered it in raspberry jam before I headed out kitted in base layer, windproof jacket and Gore full bib.
My ride was going great and I felt real strong despite it being bitterly cold and no sunlight . At about the 25 mile mark I started to feel the pangs of needing a "jimmy-riddle". Id gone to the jacks before I left but I guess I forgot about cold conditions and how it brings on the need for a wizz :roll:
I was about 5 miles from where my parents live , so I gritted my teeth and offerred prayers that I could contain myself. When I got to my parents front door , I was dancing up and down on the spot and visibly looked like I was in agony. When mum opened the door , I raced past her saying "cant talk.........emergency " and bolted up the stairs to the bathroom. You can imagine the scene with me jumping up and down on the spot and trying to get the oul fella free whilst wearing a full bib
Needless to say, I could have put out the great fire of london . You lot MUST have some entertaining caught short whilst out on a ride stories to share
My ride was going great and I felt real strong despite it being bitterly cold and no sunlight . At about the 25 mile mark I started to feel the pangs of needing a "jimmy-riddle". Id gone to the jacks before I left but I guess I forgot about cold conditions and how it brings on the need for a wizz :roll:
I was about 5 miles from where my parents live , so I gritted my teeth and offerred prayers that I could contain myself. When I got to my parents front door , I was dancing up and down on the spot and visibly looked like I was in agony. When mum opened the door , I raced past her saying "cant talk.........emergency " and bolted up the stairs to the bathroom. You can imagine the scene with me jumping up and down on the spot and trying to get the oul fella free whilst wearing a full bib
Needless to say, I could have put out the great fire of london . You lot MUST have some entertaining caught short whilst out on a ride stories to share
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Comments
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Err, quite a lot on long rides on freezing cold days 0
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I´m always surprised at how many of my fellow cyclists need to get the "oul fella" out on club rides. I don´t remember ever having to go for a wee on any ride I´ve been on. I suppose my body must´ve reached the perfect balance of fluid in/fluid out....Do not write below this line. Office use only.0
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step 1 - get off bike
step 2 - urinate - preferably not in plain view
step 3 - get back on bike
step 4 - carry on riding
Feel free to pass on this useful tip....although fk knows why it's in the training forum.....0 -
softlad wrote:step 1 - get off bike
step 2 - urinate - preferably not in plain view
step 3 - get back on bike
step 4 - carry on riding
Feel free to pass on this useful tip....although fk knows why it's in the training forum.....
step 1- get off bike
step 2- try to ensure no-one can see you
step3- police car drives past
step 4- get done for indecent behaviour
step 5 - share a cell with a guy called bubba
i struggled to get to my parents house, i wouldnt risk a quick slash in a public area these days .0 -
Very rarely find the need when riding the bike, but if I do, I just do what softlad has said. You would be pretty unlucky to see a police car on rural roads these days.0
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I know of a rider who has a reputation of just popping the old fellow out while riding and letting go. Not very pleasant if you're riding behind him; although, he apparently once did this while piloting a tandem - never went down well with the wet footed stoker!0
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mercurykev wrote:I know of a rider who has a reputation of just popping the old fellow out while riding and letting go. Not very pleasant if you're riding behind him; although, he apparently once did this while piloting a tandem - never went down well with the wet footed stoker!
this is a joke..............isnt it ?0 -
Yeah that whizzing can be a pain but as said just pull over near a tree and go for it,as for laying cable so far this has not been a problem on the bike.0
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I once stopped for an ice cream, and only had 35p.
Sadly, no flake for me as that was 55p with the standard cone.
I cried all the way home and vowed never to be caught short again. Now, I have a shiny fifty pence piece in my saddle bag to deal with such a situation.
When I am a bit older, I hope to have a whole pound in there.0 -
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well said0
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well said0
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redddraggon wrote:1. Do you realise there are sections in this forum other than "Training"? Because this thread belongs in Cake Stop...
I've tried pointing this out before - but it doesn't seem to register.....0 -
Are you being serious? We always have at least one pee stop on a Sunday ride.
Now if you want to start another thread I'll share with you my stories of finding a suitable place for a dump while out on the bike and how to put doc leafs to good use.0 -
inseine wrote:Are you being serious? We always have at least one pee stop on a Sunday ride.
Now if you want to start another thread I'll share with you my stories of finding a suitable place for a dump while out on the bike and how to put doc leafs to good use.
thats a smidgeon too much information for the weak hearted dude 0 -
thats a smidgeon too much information for the weak hearted dude
It's not the heart that's weak..........................0 -
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Hi there, riding in France with my club in Provence and a pee stop is called. 15 middle-aged (prostatic) blokes in blue and yellow all peeing in harmony with their backs to the road - a sight to behold and oh for a camera (but I was having a pee...).
Yak0 -
we have ulsterbus over on my side of the pond, sometimes they take a packed bus full of supporters to football matches and its a horde of dads and sons with backs to the road ..............use your imagination, the side of the bus and its wheels get WELL washed. :shock:0
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on one club ride one rider pissxed on his fingers to get them warm,on a frostey daygoing downhill slowly0
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JimmyK wrote:inseine wrote:Are you being serious? We always have at least one pee stop on a Sunday ride.
Now if you want to start another thread I'll share with you my stories of finding a suitable place for a dump while out on the bike and how to put doc leafs to good use.
thats a smidgeon too much information for the weak hearted dude
Well, if you're the sort of person who worries about 100 grammes of weight here and there, titanium components etc, you may as well take a dump. I mean a good cr@p has gotta be worth, what, 500 grammes at least?Do not write below this line. Office use only.0 -
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inseine wrote:I'm a bit of a weight weenie, but i've never weighed my s11t!
You should. If a titanium bottle cage which saves you 20g or whatever is worth 40 odd quid at least, then removing at least 500g weight has gotta be worth several hundred notes. Quite literally your shit (or lack of) is worth it's weight in gold (or titanium)...Do not write below this line. Office use only.0 -
Go in yer pants, thats what I do. 0
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your wife must love washing your kit 0
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Did the annual charity ride round Snowdon, on roads, but still tuff.
25 miles, sub zero, dodging sucidal sheep.
At the end, had to pee me pants to stay warm.
Fingers were so frozen that I couldn't undo my helmet and drove home with it still on.0 -
Splottboy wrote:Did the annual charity ride round Snowdon, on roads, but still tuff.
25 miles, sub zero, dodging sucidal sheep.
At the end, had to pee me pants to stay warm.
Fingers were so frozen that I couldn't undo my helmet and drove home with it still on.
Deep commitment, I salute you.
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