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Wedding advice

tnwoolleytnwoolley Posts: 114
edited July 2009 in The Crudcatcher
Hi all,

I'm getting married on 8th August (to a lady that loves mountain biking as much as I do!) :D but I'm bloody well petrified of public speaking and so not looking forward to the speeches bit. Any one got any hints for writing a decent speech and delivering it without looking like you're about to wet yourself?!

Posts

  • Apparently public speaking is made easier by imagining the audience are all sitting naked in front of you. Never tried it though so I dunno if it works.
  • supersonicsupersonic Posts: 82,708 Lives Here
    Wedding advice? Don't.





    ;-)
  • tnwoolleytnwoolley Posts: 114
    I dunno if I'd want to imagine our aging relatives in the buff!
  • Try to make it funny - self-deprecation is always good, but don't go over the top. Don't forget to compliment the bride, and the bridesmaids (if any). Don't rabbit on for too long, and write it as you would speak - if you don't usually use long words, then don't in your speech. Oh, and don't worry about it. You're amongst friends (and in-laws) - they won't care if you trip over the odd word or two - they'll be pi55ed by the end of the evening and probably won't remember anything you said anyway!
    Old hockey players never die - they just smell that way...
  • stumpyjonstumpyjon Posts: 4,069
    As the groom you can get away with a boring speech. Just compliment your lady, thank all the bridesmades and make some sort of comment about what a fantastic job her parents did in preparing her for you. The real pressure is on your best man, he actually needs to be funny and interesting.
    It's easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission.

    I've bought a new bike....ouch - result
    Can I buy a new bike?...No - no result
  • CunobelinCunobelin Posts: 11,792
    My wife is a Nurse, and was also "Best (Wo)man" at a friends wedding

    When it came to telegrams, she came across one from very good and influential friends of the brides parents,...... SHould have read out, James, Mary and Emma-Ann

    She read out ,,, James, Mary and ENEMA

    We all thought it hilarious, and the entire audience was either in shock or tears of laughter (except the Brides parents!)




    The advice above is good...... be yourself, be natural and do not do anything you would not be happy with.
    <b><i>He that buys land buys many stones.
    He that buys flesh buys many bones.
    He that buys eggs buys many shells,
    But he that buys good beer buys nothing else.</b></i>
    (Unattributed Trad.)
  • WeAreACCWeAreACC Posts: 20
    You could always nominate someone else to do the speech for you- been to a couple of weddings where the groom did that. Once cos he was too nervous and one cos he was paralytic and didnt know where he was.
  • fourcrossjohnfourcrossjohn Posts: 2,500
    start of with a joke

    thank the appropriate parties

    tell your wife how beautiful she is and how much you love her

    tell every one how much this means to you

    crack a small joke

    then say ' i feel i'm taking the spotlight away from <insert name> so lets get back to the celebrations

    then get drunk and ride off on a pair of new mtb's or go off for some 'fun'
  • GHillGHill Posts: 2,402
    stumpyjon wrote:
    As the groom you can get away with a boring speech. Just compliment your lady, thank all the bridesmades and make some sort of comment about what a fantastic job her parents did in preparing her for you. The real pressure is on your best man, he actually needs to be funny and interesting.

    Exactly that. If you want to be a real brown nose give the mother-in-law a bunch of flowers (and probably your own mum too).

    Try to enjoy the day, it'll absolutely fly by.

    Final tip, try not to face plant on to a rock about 6 weeks before the wedding - experience tells me the bride won't be happy. :lol:
  • Mrs ToastMrs Toast Posts: 636
    If you're really worried, do the speeches before the meal, otherwise you won't be able to enjoy delicious wedding noms because of nerves.
  • MontevideoguyMontevideoguy Posts: 2,336
    Get married in a non-english speaking country.... worked for me :wink:
    Formally known as Coatbridgeguy
  • VWsurfbumVWsurfbum Posts: 7,959
    Presents! get presents for every one who has done anything, including the outlaws and include them in your speech.
    Kazza the Tranny
    Now for sale Fatty
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    pretty good advice all above...

    I too was shooting my pants at making a best man's speach last year....room full of people I didn't know all staring at me expecting to be funny. I stuck to a basic formula of

    1) compliment the ladies 1st and make sure the bride knows she is the best looking in the room and your whole life.

    2) compliment the family and the mother in law then the father

    3) compliment people on coming etc... yadda yadda...

    4) make a joke (go blue if you wanna..lol)

    now basically you are into your flow......keep it to 5 mins, that's about 3 A4 bits of paper.. and practice key parts of it...

    I had also drunk 5 pints before I did it and was so full of nerves that none of them worked....

    just dont' do a Wedding Singer moment you will be cool dude.

    make em laugh....that's the key.

    G
  • jadeweedjadeweed Posts: 74
    Always start with a line such as:
    "on behalf of myself and my beautiful WIFE (pause for big cheer from the audience) we would like to thank you all for coming today.

    The big cheer will make you feel much better and drain a lot of the nerves.

    Also, doing it before the meal is good advice, it means you can enjoy your food. We did ours before the pudding, so at least I could enjoy some of it!

    Best of luck mate.....you will surprised how easy it is in front of friends...and you will have a brilliant day!
  • Daz555Daz555 Posts: 4,040
    Just remember that everyone there is there because they want to share your day, and that everyone wants the speeches to be a success - they laugh easily for example.

    I have done best man and groom speech and the groom speech is a doddle in comparison. Just be sincere and a little slushy and everyone will go ahhh.

    In no particular order:

    Thank everyone for coming extra thanks to ushers etc.
    Lots of stuff about your wonderful wife. Toast to your wife.
    Thanks and tributes to wifes parents. Toast to in laws.
    Thanks and tributes to your own parents.
    Thanks and tributes to bridesmaids. Toast bridesmaids (if best man is not).
    Thanks and tributes to best man.

    Couple of gags, lots of thankyous, a couple of toasts, plus enough touching stuff about your wife to make her mum cry and you''ll be fine.

    On the joke front - wife and mother-in-law are best left alone.

    Oh, and spare a thought for the best man. Get a bit of retaliation in first as well of course!
    Mrs Toast wrote:
    If you're really worried, do the speeches before the meal, otherwise you won't be able to enjoy delicious wedding noms because of nerves.
    Fair point in terms of nerves, but to be honest - for atmosphere in the speeches it's best if the audience are well fed and a bit drunk.
    You only need two tools: WD40 and Duck Tape.
    If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40.
    If it shouldn't move and does, use the tape.
  • xstrathyxxstrathyx Posts: 1,173
    I am in a similar boat mate. I am getting marriied in Cyprus on the 19th August.

    Thankfully i was best man at a friends wedding over a year ago, so i know what to expect. Talking to a lot of folk can be nerve racking.

    be yourself, don't say things you wouldnt say in normal context. Your in a room with people who will not be critical - they understand its not an easy thing.

    Sure you might muck up somewhere, but it will be fine and as someone said earlier the guests will be too inebriated by the end of the night to remember.

    I do remember a lot of folk coming up and congratulating me on my efforts.

    Considering my bes man efforts were at a wedding for a chinese couple in Aberdeen, where half the room didnt understand me lol.

    Just be complimentary to all, especially to your new wife, your new family and thank everyone for attending.

    All the best with your big day mate
  • MarkEoMarkEo Posts: 308
    I recently did a best mans speech at my sisters wedding, i absoloutly sh*t myself all the way through it so im not gonna lie and say 'its easy dont worry about it' because its not easy . . . . . . . but it was made easier with a couple of pints before hand (DONT GET LEATHERED, just have a couple!)
    Also try make it funyish, not to funny because thats the best mans job not the grooms (you have to be a bit soppy n that)

    When i first stood up though, all i could see was hundreds of eyes staring at me expecting me to do something good so i just spoke my mind, told veryone i was nervous and it would help me alot if you all turned around and looked at the back wall untill i was finished, which got a laugh and calmed me a bit.

    Just enjoy it, its only a couple of minutes out of a great day then you can get well n truly w*nkered, just remember the thankyou's and toasts

    Good luck man!
    Tis better to regret something you've done than to regret not doing something!
  • passoutpassout Posts: 4,609
    Keep it short - everybody is sitting through your speech and just waiting for the Best Man. Also compliment the Bride & Bridesmaids. Don't read from a card too much.

    I made mine up up the spot but it was pretty rubbish but I didn;t really care...it was short though!
    'Happiness serves hardly any other purpose than to make unhappiness possible' Marcel Proust.
  • tnwoolleytnwoolley Posts: 114
    Lol thanks for all the tips everyone. Wasn't expecting such a big response. You bikers are a friendly bunch! Feeling slightly (very slightly) less worried about it now, knowing I'm not the only person that gets speechy jitters.

    GHill, I know what you mean. Me n the missus are on a two week bike embargo just in case one of us stacks it seriously for the first time and messes up the wedding photos! Gonna make up for it with some first class honeymoon riding around Lake Garda!

    (PS on bikes)
  • GHillGHill Posts: 2,402
    tnwoolley wrote:
    GHill, I know what you mean. Me n the missus are on a two week bike embargo just in case one of us stacks it seriously for the first time and messes up the wedding photos! Gonna make up for it with some first class honeymoon riding around Lake Garda!

    Our photographer did a great job of reducing the huge red scar under my eye with photoshop - in the photos it looks a lot like it does now over a year on.
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