How the flinkin blip do you.....

Penylope

..cut malt loaf without it all squishing up into a big mess? :shock:


2 for 1 offer in sainsburys, so stocked up the cupboards, but every time i try to cut a few slices, i end up with pieces the size of a postage stamp :evil:

TheRevOlutionary

There's a reason it's on offer :roll:

Mr Wu

If you ask nicely they might slice it for you instore?

They do in Asda :-)

TheRevOlutionary

My Sainsbury's do too...

geordiefreerider

Use a bread knife and slowly and gently using a back and forth motion, letting the knife do the work instead of forcing the blade down - simples

Mr Wu

How to slice Malt Loaf

Simples!

cat_with_no_tail

one word,

Chainsaw

Mr Wu

Like this you mean?!

FSR Si

Dont bother slicing it just bite chunks off

Kitty

Put it in the fridge, or don't eat it.

blister pus

+ 1 for light sawing action to start off with with a serrated edged knife.

+10 for sawing it down the middle smearing half pack of butter on each half and stuffing it down your face though.

cat_with_no_tail

Or....


Just put it back and buy some lovely battenburg instead.

Mmmmmmm, battenburg :P

Mr Wu

Cat With No Tail wrote:

Or....


Just put it back and buy some lovely battenburg instead.

Mmmmmmm, battenburg :P

+10!

off for a slice now me thinks!

blister pus

yeah but i just end up cheating and peeling the marzipan off , then I've got to go and get a pack of marzipan , then chocolate, then... we're in all sorts of trouble at this point.

Mr Wu

Marzipan, and toffee sauce. Yum.

deffler

malt loaf is just rank

Battenberg is just ulgh

cat_with_no_tail

deffler wrote:

malt loaf is just rank

Battenberg is just ulgh

How very dare you sir!

I demand satisfaction! *glove slap*

fourcrossjohn

u mean u slice it to take a bite :oops: :oops: :oops:
i thought it was bite size

Anonymous

Malt loaf is crap, what you want is Bara Brith, with fresh real butter on it.
mmmmmmmm

Si78

yeehaamcgee wrote:

Malt loaf is crap, what you want is Bara Brith, with fresh real butter on it.
mmmmmmmm

mmmmmmmmm yum yum yum! A welsh lad at work always brings loads in for me to munch lol

I do like malt loaf too tho.

Freeze it, then slice it and let it defrost maybe? lol

I always squish it. All goes down the same way lol.


But don't even get me started on Battenburg.
Middle bits ok, but....
Marzipan...yuk!
Originates from the devils own arse you know...

Mr Wu

Si78

Sorry but have to disagree, and based on your other posts, along with mine over yet another Naveed post, i have come to the conclusion that you are infact a Marzipan Racist. Its it because its yellow? Eh eh eh!

Yes youll take the soft spongy goodness but shun the yellow taste sensation.

I suppose you support Mr Kipling too what with all his cake'ist views?

Im reporting you to my mum.

cat_with_no_tail

Mr Wu wrote:

Si78

Sorry but have to disagree, and based on your other posts, along with mine over yet another Naveed post, i have come to the conclusion that you are infact a Marzipan Racist. Its it because its yellow? Eh eh eh!

Yes youll take the soft spongy goodness but shun the yellow taste sensation.

I suppose you support Mr Kipling too what with all his cake'ist views?

Im reporting you to my mum.

elPedro666

Geordie had it, way back there somewhere.

Never tried a cheesewire though (probably as I've never owned one), might just do it.

Alternatively, the Soreen I found open at the back of the cupboard from a few weeks ago sliced just fine without any discernable squish...

Si78

Mr Wu wrote:

Si78

Sorry but have to disagree, and based on your other posts, along with mine over yet another Naveed post, i have come to the conclusion that you are infact a Marzipan Racist. Its it because its yellow? Eh eh eh!

Yes youll take the soft spongy goodness but shun the yellow taste sensation.

I suppose you support Mr Kipling too what with all his cake'ist views?

Im reporting you to my mum.

Haaaahaaaahaaaaaa

You got me!

Bloody Marzipan...Coming over here...Tasting of bloody almonds.... :evil:

But yes, I do love the spongy goodness, old boy!

Kipling is ok in my book...Anyone who spends all day filling tarts with cream is ok by me :P :roll:

Sorry for inciting hatred of Marzipan.... :oops:

:P

Graydawg

Ach! Mine Throaten”


~ Adolf Hitler on Battenburg Cakes



Battenburg is a town somewhere in Germany in Hessianland which is, oh, right about the middle. It is divided into the yellow quarter, the pink quarter, the yellow quarter and the pink quarter. The few people that live there are employed by Battenburg Ltd., a large scale bakery operation that produces all sorts of fancy namby-pamby tea cakes. These cakes are exported all over the world and are best enjoyed by wimps drinking tea. Naturally the very best tea is stolen from East India Trading Company ships by pirates. However if supplies of jacked tea are limited, then it may also be enjoyed with unjacked tea but with far less satisfaction to the wimps, and the pirates... but I digress

more info on battenburg found here:http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Battenburg

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