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Useless Inventions

nonnac85nonnac85 Posts: 1,608
edited June 2008 in The Crudcatcher
Anyone got any to add to this list:

1. inflatable pin cushion

2. solar powered torch

3. battery powered battery charger

4. see-thru Tippex

5. a police car with the words "Unmarked Police Patrol Vehicle" written on the side
My Website - Trail Centre info for the UK: MTB Trail Time
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Posts

  • BikedevilBikedevil Posts: 1,156
    Left handed screwdriver

    Microsoft Windows

    Breathable condoms
    Brought to you by:
    Trix©orp Industries

    For everything & anything pointless
  • Andy BAndy B Posts: 8,115
    nonnac85 wrote:
    2. solar powered torch

    Not as useless as it sounds, you'd charge it in the daytime & use it at night, much like the solar powered garden lights you can get.
    2385861000_d125abe796_m.jpg
  • XtreemXtreem Posts: 3,066
    Elektrical knife for bread.
    Bikedevil wrote:
    Left handed screwdriver
    :lol::lol:
    I didn't know that something like that existed.
  • Internet forums.
    "The problem was, I was still using my eyes even though I had them shut"

    Demoted to commuting duty

    Orange Crush!
  • Jimbob_no5Jimbob_no5 Posts: 1,568
    ambulance written backwards on the bonnet of an ambulance
    Pinkbike

    I believe in only 2 things in life.
    1) Drink is not my friend
    2) D-Locking cnuts ;)
  • Andy BAndy B Posts: 8,115
    ambulance written backwards on the bonnet of an ambulance
    You don't drive a car do you?

    It's backwards so you can read it properly in your rear view mirror ;)
    2385861000_d125abe796_m.jpg
  • mr_hippomr_hippo Posts: 1,051
    Bikedevil wrote:
    Left handed screwdriver
    I take it that you are right-handed? I was left-handed and it was physically beat out of me, one of my daughters is left handed. Have you ever tried to use scissors or a can-opener with your left hand. Not easy is it?
    ambulance written backwards on the bonnet of an ambulance
    I kid you not but I once saw a police car with ECILOP on the front of it! I don't think the sign writer got it quite right.
  • Ed 81Ed 81 Posts: 200
    Andy_B wrote:
    ambulance written backwards on the bonnet of an ambulance
    You don't drive a car do you?

    It's backwards so you can read it properly in your rear view mirror ;)

    But do you really need to read the words AMBULANCE when the there's a loud siren and blue flashing lights up your censored ?
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    mr hippo, I hope you're being a bit tongue in cheek.
    but if you're not, please explain what the difference would be between a left and right handed screwdrier. :roll:

    I presume you meant that POLICE was written backwards, but the letters were not mirror images?
  • mr_hippomr_hippo Posts: 1,051
    mr hippo, I hope you're being a bit tongue in cheek.
    but if you're not, please explain what the difference would be between a left and right handed screwdrier. :roll:
    Some tools have a moulded handle which is suitable for right-handers but uncomfortable for lefties
    I presume you meant that POLICE was written backwards, but the letters were not mirror images?
    It was not a mirror image
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    mr hippo, I might be missing something here, but seriously, what would the difference be between a left and right handed screwdriver?

    screwdrivers aren't moulded to either hand, because they have to be able to turn in your hand.
  • ThewaylanderThewaylander Posts: 8,767
    the kettle in my kitchen whicjs keeps splurging boiling water over me.. and that im too lazy to replace?
  • silverknellsilverknell Posts: 183
    How about a toothbrush that sings?

    £7.99!
    ZOMG!
    http://www.play.com/Gadgets/Gadgets/4-/ ... P36=8JDBDK
    Part of the Left-handed CommunityTM
  • silverknellsilverknell Posts: 183
    mr_hippo wrote:
    Bikedevil wrote:
    Left handed screwdriver
    I take it that you are right-handed? I was left-handed and it was physically beat out of me, one of my daughters is left handed. Have you ever tried to use scissors or a can-opener with your left hand. Not easy is it?

    I' m left handed..by what your saying does that mean that there are left handed moulded hammers aswell?

    I need to find some.
    What is the point of having a left handed screwdriver?
    I always thought that the handle was straight? :oops:
    Wow, time has come on!
    Part of the Left-handed CommunityTM
  • hastingshastings Posts: 206
    football
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    oh, and golf of course. What a waste of good countryside!
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    Ed 81 wrote:
    Andy_B wrote:
    ambulance written backwards on the bonnet of an ambulance
    You don't drive a car do you?

    It's backwards so you can read it properly in your rear view mirror ;)

    But do you really need to read the words AMBULANCE when the there's a loud siren and blue flashing lights up your ars*?

    as a blue lights driver you would be amazed at how many people dont see you coming!! i drive a bomb disposal wagon (very occasionally) and during my test up in hull, i nearly knocked 2 cyclists over as they pulled out in front of me, very nearly collided with 4 cars and scared the living [email protected] out of a pedestrian who was about to cross the road.

    this was all whilst driving in pursuit of a police car in an 8 tonne truck (at well above the speed limit) adorned with strobes, flashing lights, luminous stripes on a bright white surface and the loudest siren and bull horn you have ever heard.
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    Sheepsteeth, you rule! :lol:

    Can I have some bombs once you're done with them? seems a shame to dispose of a perfectly functioning bomb, when i could go play with it in an old quarry.
  • Andy BAndy B Posts: 8,115
    i drive a bomb disposal wagon ... whilst driving in pursuit of a police car in an 8 tonne truck (at well above the speed limit) adorned with strobes, flashing lights, luminous stripes on a bright white surface and the loudest siren and bull horn you have ever heard.
    So I guess it could be said that you were 'bombing along'.....
    2385861000_d125abe796_m.jpg
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    oh dear andy, :lol:

    as for you yeehaa, next time someone digs one up for me, you'll be the first person i contact :D
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    yeah, then I can ride some REAL bombholes! :lol:
  • Jimbob_no5Jimbob_no5 Posts: 1,568
    Andy_B wrote:
    ambulance written backwards on the bonnet of an ambulance
    You don't drive a car do you?

    It's backwards so you can read it properly in your rear view mirror ;)

    makes no difference on a bike :lol:
    Pinkbike

    I believe in only 2 things in life.
    1) Drink is not my friend
    2) D-Locking cnuts ;)
  • BlackSpurBlackSpur Posts: 4,228
    Sheepsteeth, what do you do for a living? I have seen various posts of yours describing small bits of your job, and I can't quite work out what you actually do!
    "Melancholy is incompatible with bicycling." ~James E. Starrs
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    BlackSpur, I think that's the start of a new "guess..." thread you got there!
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    i am a corporal in the royal engineers.

    -i am a class one machine fitter (lathe, milling machine and cnc programmer/setter/operator),
    -class 2 fitter equipment (plant mechanic)
    -class 1 combat engineer (build bridges, blow stuff up lay and clear mines, water supply the list is almost endless)
    -bomb disposal no 2 (dont laugh) (basicly set up the equipment and site for bomb disposal tasks)

    and some other stuff which will soon include mountain bike leader (means i can take the lads out for mtb rides)

    for the most part, my day to day life involves the running of a fitter section and maintenance of a fleet of plant equipment. been in for 11 yrs now and highly reccommend it to everyone.
  • BlackSpurBlackSpur Posts: 4,228
    Sounds like a lot of fun! I'm still looking for career ideas, and one in the Royal Engineers sounds like something for me to consider.
    "Melancholy is incompatible with bicycling." ~James E. Starrs
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    well, ive had a blast so far and have recently got some new qualifications which should mean i have some good stuff coming my way.

    the money is good, there is loads of time off and the engineers offer tonnes of civvy qualifications from all of the training you do. even if you just did the compulsory 4 yrs, you would get a good qualification out of for the rest of your life.
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    That does sound like a good career actually, sheep. I've trained as an industrial electrical fitter myself, which included machining, fabrication, welding, hydaulics/pneumatics on top of all the normal electrical stuff.
    Might look into that. (no desire to change job currently, but you never know what the future holds - and playing with bombs sounds like a laugh!)
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 28,799
    Still, no screwdrivers, huh?

    As for the slate hammers, the only difference is the orientation of the nail puller. Left, or right handed people wouldn't be really inconvenienced by using either. But still, yes you have found a hammer-tool which is left handed.
    Congratulations.
    Now off you pop and find me a left handed screwdriver.
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