Useless Inventions

nonnac85

Anyone got any to add to this list:

1. inflatable pin cushion

2. solar powered torch

3. battery powered battery charger

4. see-thru Tippex

5. a police car with the words "Unmarked Police Patrol Vehicle" written on the side

Bikedevil

Left handed screwdriver

Microsoft Windows

Breathable condoms

Andy B

nonnac85 wrote:

2. solar powered torch

Not as useless as it sounds, you'd charge it in the daytime & use it at night, much like the solar powered garden lights you can get.

xtreem

Elektrical knife for bread.
Bikedevil wrote:

Left handed screwdriver

I didn't know that something like that existed.

Nick Dastardly

Internet forums.

Jimbob_no5

ambulance written backwards on the bonnet of an ambulance

Andy B

kona_cowan_rider wrote:

ambulance written backwards on the bonnet of an ambulance

You don't drive a car do you?

It's backwards so you can read it properly in your rear view mirror

mr_hippo

Bikedevil wrote:

Left handed screwdriver

I take it that you are right-handed? I was left-handed and it was physically beat out of me, one of my daughters is left handed. Have you ever tried to use scissors or a can-opener with your left hand. Not easy is it?

kona_cowan_rider wrote:

ambulance written backwards on the bonnet of an ambulance

I kid you not but I once saw a police car with ECILOP on the front of it! I don't think the sign writer got it quite right.

Ed 81

Andy_B wrote:

kona_cowan_rider wrote:

ambulance written backwards on the bonnet of an ambulance

You don't drive a car do you?

It's backwards so you can read it properly in your rear view mirror

But do you really need to read the words AMBULANCE when the there's a loud siren and blue flashing lights up your arse?

Anonymous

mr hippo, I hope you're being a bit tongue in cheek.
but if you're not, please explain what the difference would be between a left and right handed screwdrier. :roll:

I presume you meant that POLICE was written backwards, but the letters were not mirror images?

mr_hippo

yeehaamcgee wrote:

mr hippo, I hope you're being a bit tongue in cheek.
but if you're not, please explain what the difference would be between a left and right handed screwdrier. :roll:
Some tools have a moulded handle which is suitable for right-handers but uncomfortable for lefties
I presume you meant that POLICE was written backwards, but the letters were not mirror images?
It was not a mirror image

Anonymous

mr hippo, I might be missing something here, but seriously, what would the difference be between a left and right handed screwdriver?

screwdrivers aren't moulded to either hand, because they have to be able to turn in your hand.

Thewaylander

the kettle in my kitchen whicjs keeps splurging boiling water over me.. and that im too lazy to replace?

silverknell

How about a toothbrush that sings?

£7.99!
ZOMG!
http://www.play.com/Gadgets/Gadgets/4-/ ... P36=8JDBDK

silverknell

mr_hippo wrote:

Bikedevil wrote:

Left handed screwdriver

I take it that you are right-handed? I was left-handed and it was physically beat out of me, one of my daughters is left handed. Have you ever tried to use scissors or a can-opener with your left hand. Not easy is it?

I' m left handed..by what your saying does that mean that there are left handed moulded hammers aswell?

I need to find some.
What is the point of having a left handed screwdriver?
I always thought that the handle was straight? :oops:
Wow, time has come on!

hastings

football

Anonymous

oh, and golf of course. What a waste of good countryside!

Anonymous

Ed 81 wrote:

Andy_B wrote:

kona_cowan_rider wrote:

ambulance written backwards on the bonnet of an ambulance

You don't drive a car do you?

It's backwards so you can read it properly in your rear view mirror

But do you really need to read the words AMBULANCE when the there's a loud siren and blue flashing lights up your ars*?

as a blue lights driver you would be amazed at how many people dont see you coming!! i drive a bomb disposal wagon (very occasionally) and during my test up in hull, i nearly knocked 2 cyclists over as they pulled out in front of me, very nearly collided with 4 cars and scared the living cr@p out of a pedestrian who was about to cross the road.

this was all whilst driving in pursuit of a police car in an 8 tonne truck (at well above the speed limit) adorned with strobes, flashing lights, luminous stripes on a bright white surface and the loudest siren and bull horn you have ever heard.

Anonymous

Sheepsteeth, you rule!

Can I have some bombs once you're done with them? seems a shame to dispose of a perfectly functioning bomb, when i could go play with it in an old quarry.

Andy B

sheepsteeth wrote:

i drive a bomb disposal wagon ... whilst driving in pursuit of a police car in an 8 tonne truck (at well above the speed limit) adorned with strobes, flashing lights, luminous stripes on a bright white surface and the loudest siren and bull horn you have ever heard.

So I guess it could be said that you were 'bombing along'.....

Anonymous

oh dear andy,

as for you yeehaa, next time someone digs one up for me, you'll be the first person i contact

Anonymous

yeah, then I can ride some REAL bombholes!

Jimbob_no5

Andy_B wrote:

kona_cowan_rider wrote:

ambulance written backwards on the bonnet of an ambulance

You don't drive a car do you?

It's backwards so you can read it properly in your rear view mirror

makes no difference on a bike

BlackSpur

Sheepsteeth, what do you do for a living? I have seen various posts of yours describing small bits of your job, and I can't quite work out what you actually do!

Anonymous

BlackSpur, I think that's the start of a new "guess..." thread you got there!

Anonymous

i am a corporal in the royal engineers.

-i am a class one machine fitter (lathe, milling machine and cnc programmer/setter/operator),
-class 2 fitter equipment (plant mechanic)
-class 1 combat engineer (build bridges, blow stuff up lay and clear mines, water supply the list is almost endless)
-bomb disposal no 2 (dont laugh) (basicly set up the equipment and site for bomb disposal tasks)

and some other stuff which will soon include mountain bike leader (means i can take the lads out for mtb rides)

for the most part, my day to day life involves the running of a fitter section and maintenance of a fleet of plant equipment. been in for 11 yrs now and highly reccommend it to everyone.

BlackSpur

Sounds like a lot of fun! I'm still looking for career ideas, and one in the Royal Engineers sounds like something for me to consider.

Anonymous

well, ive had a blast so far and have recently got some new qualifications which should mean i have some good stuff coming my way.

the money is good, there is loads of time off and the engineers offer tonnes of civvy qualifications from all of the training you do. even if you just did the compulsory 4 yrs, you would get a good qualification out of for the rest of your life.

Anonymous

That does sound like a good career actually, sheep. I've trained as an industrial electrical fitter myself, which included machining, fabrication, welding, hydaulics/pneumatics on top of all the normal electrical stuff.
Might look into that. (no desire to change job currently, but you never know what the future holds - and playing with bombs sounds like a laugh!)

mr_hippo

http://www.stortz.com/slatehammers.html

Anonymous

Still, no screwdrivers, huh?

As for the slate hammers, the only difference is the orientation of the nail puller. Left, or right handed people wouldn't be really inconvenienced by using either. But still, yes you have found a hammer-tool which is left handed.
Congratulations.
Now off you pop and find me a left handed screwdriver.