A short lesson about biking:
Laws of biking physics:
1) The 1 time you don't wear armour you is the time you fall off (even if you are just pissing about on a BMX)
2) If you're wearing armour, you can still fall off (and it'll still hurt somewhere)
Mountain biking english:
s**t/f**k/other monosyllabic swear word:
--something is about to go wrong, for example - "Oh dear, I seem to have over shot that last jump and the landing may not be particulaly comfortable" or "I appear to be travelling a little too swiftly and that tree is approaching rather quickly"
String of swear words/longer swear words (such as b*****ks):
-- this has 2 meanings, depending ..:
--- "Ouch that really hurt, I'll try to avoid doing that again in future"
--- "Oh no i appear to have damaged my bike in some way"
-- In the worst cases (usually indicated by a particularly long string) it can take both meanings.
-- "I appear to have ridden through some dog mess and I'm not best pleased"
No I didn't hurt myself (when telling girlfriend/wife/partner etc):
-- I hurt myself but I'm trying to hide it from you so you don't shout/hit/ban from biking.
censored (i don't know the forum rules)
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